My First Love

My first love

the very first, the one that set the stage

how I think, how I love

You wouldn’t know her

if I told you, about

but I wouldn’t  know her


Time has gone past us,

without being us anymore

but she was the first, the one I fell for

the one so special, I wrote her poetry

then letters, hand-written, long and deep

and I called her as well, and we spoke for hours

on end,

and it hurt when we didn’t speak

and it hurt when we didn’t agree,

my whole world crumbled,

then we made up

then we knew again

that we were destined to be


but time changes us, molds us

makes us different,

we grew apart, then got together

then fought again, then made up

but farther apart, we grew

until the day

until the final  day, I spoke to her,

we tried to be adult about it

we tried to say, so long, be well,

the hurt I felt, the love I felt

the longing, the joy of reunion

all of those things, seem  so clear

all of those experiences, never felt the same way


My first love and I, were special

holding hands, making promises

the first kiss, holding her until she stopped shaking

when her crying just wouldn’t stop

the feel of her skin next to mine,

reading her words, again and again,

missing her in the end, missing her


My first love

making it possible to write about love

about losing, about rejection, jealousy, desire,

longing, and everything else,

My first love taught me

how to love, how to live

how to want,  how to lose


My first love…..