Posted in Copenhagen, Denmark, Travel

Telling Time in Copenhagen

Some of you might be thinking? Is this a No-Brainer, or what?

No, of course not! This is your way, being a tourist in a Foreign Country, to tell time the same way that the natives do.

Telling Time is not done the same way in Copenhagen, as it is in the rest of the world, except in Kenya. The Danes have developed a unique way of doing this, that will make some of you stand up in your seats and cheer the Brave Danes of Copenhagen, while others will wonder just what they had been sniffing when that idea was thought up?

Look at this clock, and you might begin to get the idea:

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See what I mean? It is actually not turned the right way, but it will be in the next photo:

dsc05621-rotated-once

See what I mean now? Time has not changed, but the angle at which it is read, changes your perspective on what time it might have been.

We’ll try again:

dsc05618new

You see what I mean? No? Well, it seems that time in Copenhagen is never synchronized with the rest of the world. Clocks are adjusted for this phenomena, by appearing out of focus, twisted on their sides, or not filling the whole picture frame.

Just bad photography? No. This is how the Danes, especially the ones living in Copenhagen, have decided to do things, regardless of how the rest of the world would like it to be!

Take Kenya. They tell time from 6am which is the same as our midnight. 7am is the same as 1 o’clock, and so on, until 6pm when it starts all over again.

swahili-time

Source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/78039006020239991/

They can do that being so close to the Equator, where day and night always have the same length.

Why start the day at Midnight? Who has egg on their face here, you might ask?

Well, the Danes of Copenhagen are nobody’s fools, which shows you why they would like to go it on their own, similar to, but not really like their Brothers in Arms in Kenya.

Jambo!

Posted in Copenhagen, Denmark, Travel

Famous Meetings on Strøget

Strøget is the famous Pedestrian Street in Copenhagen. If you need anymore clarification about this area, then you can read more about it here:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Str%C3%B8get

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I am never sure, just who I might run into on this well-traveled street, but rest assured, you won’t be disappointed!

I once saw a comical figure wearing a hat made from a flurry of balloons.

What a guy!

He didn’t seem to realize how silly he looked, but I managed to snap a few pictures of him, before he caught on.

balloon-hat1

I mean, in looking at this photo, I still have a good laugh at his expense!

Strøget has other things as well. Fast Food restaurants, and stores that sell every and anything at good old Copenhagen Prices!

Your credit cards are also welcome here, and if you mention my name, then you’ll be assured the maximum discount allowed by law!

OK. I admit to having one more picture of this smiling idiot, seen on the Strøget:

balloon-hat2

You see, if The Danes of Copenhagen can accept this fellow, and his odd way of celebrating Strøget, then you can too………………………….

 

Posted in Copenhagen, Denmark, Travel

Things You Didn’t Know About Denmark

Close your eyes. Think warm and balmy. Where are you at? Southern France?

Nope. Copenhagen in February.

francedenmark

Source: Google

Look at these pictures. See the similarities? A lot of people travel to Copenhagen in February, because they have likened it to Southern France!

I really can’t see any difference between the 2 places, other than some of the funny names on the left-hand map. When are they going to learn how to spell, some of you might be asking?

Close your eyes again. What are you thinking about this time? Girls in Bikinis, Sipping Pinot Noir along the Gulf of Lion, or sipping a glass of Aquavit in Nyhavn?

See what I mean? Those thoughts are the same!

So when you are considering a vacation to the warmer climes of Europe, remember Copenhagen in February!

-And you heard it here first!!!

Posted in Copenhagen, Denmark, Travel

Visiting Copenhagen – Danish for Beginners: Part 1

Some of you have expressed doubt in traveling to Denmark, due to not knowing the language. I understand these fears, but after you know more about this time-honored language, you’ll be toasting your Danish hosts in the language that they know best!

Let’s start by playing a game. I will be dividing you into groups with the following categories: Swedes, Norwegians, and Finns. Now you’ll be representing the major groups of Scandinavian, just without the Danes.

The Swedes and the Norwegians would probably say, “Danish is the Guttural (a harsh and throaty spoken sound – Wiktionary) form of Swedish/Norwegian! At this point in our game, the Swedes and Norwegians will be broken into 2 separate groups with yelling going on on either side of this division. The one will accuse the other of the same thing that they just have accused the Danes of being, with a general head-bashing, “throw through the picture window” type of behavior that we all know and expect from American Cowboy movies!

The group with the Finns, will be standing off in their corner, knowing that their language is entirely different from the other club members,  will be conversing with each other in pure Finnish, while the other activities are taking place.

Why are their no Danes with this game, a number of you have asked me? Well, the Danes will be accusing the other 3 of the same language crimes, but will justify it by saying that “The other languages, other than Finnish, came from Danish as those Countries were originally under the Danish Flag at one time.

flags2

Source: http://solpinsnaps.blogspot.dk/2013/01/scandinavia-flags.html

Why did I cross out the Faroe Islands and Iceland? Just because those people either are too few to care, or too wise to play this game in the first place.

See the Danish Flag? No? OK. I can see that this blog is way too advanced for some of you. I should have divided you into: “Knowing The Danish Flag, or Not” in my “Avoiding Cultural Faux Pas in Denmark” Tour number 117. My sign-up App is available on the Internet!

For the rest of you, who during this short break, have found the Danish Flag, you’ll be able to see the similarities between the makeup of this one and the other Countries? This is of course biased with Denmark coming first in the above picture, unless you are left-handed and consider Finland to be starting Country, of this very confusing explanation about a simple topic!

Remember, at the end of this game, then all of you will be classified as Danes, regardless of your original Country!

OK. I am getting a new message in my headphones from some of you who are not accepting the premise of everyone being a Dane. I guess, some of you have identified with the other Countries instead of Denmark? But Hey! We can accept the other Countries as well, just not Luxembourg, which lies outside of the scope of this blog (Tip: See map of Europe excluding Scandinavia).

Now it is time to end this game and move on to the main point of this blog: Language.

“Skål” pronounced “Skoal” is more or less the same in Danish, Swedish and Norwegian.

Skål means Cheers! which is probably the most important word to know in this part of Scandinavia.

What about the Finns? Well, they say Kippis, which is pronounced Kippis, which to any other Scandinavian is unintelligible all the same, which means that another flag will be removed from my next class of Cultural Differences and Cultural Similarities!

Some of you out there, for some unexplained reason, are still identifying with Luxembourg, so in the sense of European Solidarity, then:

luxembourg

Source: Wikipedia

Here is the flag of Luxembourg.

Knock yourselves out!

 

 

Posted in Copenhagen, Denmark, Travel

Street Talking in Copenhagen

Now that you’ve enjoyed the local nightlife of Copenhagen, you are probably wondering just what those Danes are really saying to each other?

It’s not only pure Danish, that they are using to communicate with other Danes, but a mixture of Danish + Urban Speak, common to this northerly corner of Europe.

I’ve dug down underneath the permafrost layer of this great city to bring you the down and dirty language of those “Copenhageners”.

  • Jyder (Yoo-der) – a slang term for an uncouth group of Danes, whose only distinguishing cultural characteristics include: Trailer hitches and empty motorways.
  • Vesterbro – a known term for residents of Copenhagen, regardless of where they live. Vesterbro means Copenhagener, without them being called “resident of Copenhagen” which any boob in his right mind, knows that there aren’t any Copenhageners, whatsoever!
  • Jylland (Yoo-Land) – yet another slang term for an outlying area of Denmark. It is also a warning to those “true residents” who have decided to risk life and limb, in order to travel out to the “Boonies” for excitement and challenging cultural differences!
  • Fulde Svenskere – (Foole + Sven+sker) – This term might just apply to everyone, who is considered a foreigner in Copenhagen. Jyders (first term) might also be in this classification, but for reasons of simplification, they will be grouped together with “Drunken Swedes”.
  • Er De Forvirret? – (are dee for+vire+it) Plainly speaking this would mean “Are you confused?”, which might be heard in the buses and other means of transport, when all Non-Copenhageners address other hapless travelers. The use of the polite form “De” is an obvious insult, showing everyone else, than Copenhageners, that they are considered to be less worthy of existing in Copenhagen, then its true residents!

For those of you uncomfortable with this form of “Insider Danish” then I would recommend that you take my Course in Cultural Understanding: “Danish for Beginners” instead.

If, on the other hand, you’ve decided to use these new tools, then there should not be anything else stopping you from attacking those “Copenhageners” where they live!

Remember, breaking and entering is still a crime, and won’t be accepted no matter how much “Street Smarts”, you think, you’ve attained……..

 

 

Posted in Copenhagen, Denmark, Travel

Palm Trees in Copenhagen – The Sequel

Sorry about that Palm Tree blog. I guess, when you travel as much as I do, there can be photo mix ups from time to time.

Here are my photos from Copenhagen:

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Notice the symmetry of the Palm Trees! These Danes don’t leave anything to chance. Oh another interesting thing to remember is how to straddle the while lines on the roads. If you notice how in the first photo, the driver has mastered this practice, while the photo underneath, the driver still has a way to go.

It might be due to the presence of Palm Trees in February that have made more than a few drivers tipsy with their driving? I must admit that I too have had difficulties staying on the road after hugging so many Palm Trees.

Here is another shot to whet your appetite!lithas-camera-first-memory-card-175

Dang! I hate it, when that happens. Young girls in shorts covering up my hug! I guess, I’ll have to dig down in my photo collection to find the correct photo!

What? Some of you might ask am I doing in Copenhagen in February? Well, that is where it is happening, with…..what? Photos from Southern California?

Don’t you think that this blog has any credibility whatsoever? Southern California?

Poppycock! This is the Real Copenhagen!

Why is the same woman in the photo once again? Haven’t you heard about Stalkers? I have the feeling that one of them from Montréal doubles as a Stalker, but that is, as they say, another story.

I might just windsurf over to Copenhagen one day to show my pretty face in Balmy Scandinavia! Living in the Far North of Denmark, the temperature isn’t as temperate as in Copenhagen.

What?

Pulling your leg? I wouldn’t touch your leg, if I was a 10 foot pole!

Just being a 6 foot American……

 

 

Posted in Denmark, Travel

The New Jersey of Copenhagen

This blog could have so many other titles: The Garden State, the other Bay City, but it just doesn’t! Here is why:

kbh-amager

Source: Google Maps

Under Copenhagen across the water lies Amager. Amager suffers unfortunately from what I would call the “New Jersey Effect” which has to do with a lesser known (and lesser loved) location being closer to a more known, and more loved location like Copenhagen!

Confused? Well that seems to occur rather often in my blogs, but I’ll try to explain myself out of this one at all costs.

Why is the City of Oakland allowed to be in the Bay Area across from San Francisco, CA? Well, to hold up the other end of the Bay Bridge! – A common joke in San Francisco

san-fran

Source: Google Maps

This implies that San Francisco is more worth of being in the Bay Area than Oakland.

The same is true of New Jersey:

new-jersey

Source: Google Maps

New Jersey will always be in the shadow of New York City, regardless of it being called “The Garden State” or not. New Jersey is often the “Butt” of jokes coming from New York, just as Oakland suffers from its relationship with San Francisco.

“Are you going to San Francisco”, that famous song from the 60s, doesn’t mention Oakland’s contribution to the whole, but that type of prejudice just continues on in Scandinavia as well with:

Amager. Amager does possess Christianshavn, which started out as a military area, then was populated by squatters, then became famous for “Pusher Street”.

See where this blog is heading? No? Do I really need to use more Screen Shots from Google Maps?

Here is a blog about Amager: http://www.aok.dk/in-english/guide-to-amager-and-islands-brygge

I am afraid after all of the color photos have been forgotten, and the flashy descriptions have gone the way of my memory, then there still will be the stigma of Amager, being less worthy of being allowed in the vicinity of Copenhagen at all. Amager should almost align itself with those other “throw-away” cities/areas in the world, who still suffer from being in the “shadow” of their more famous relatives.

When visiting Amager, perhaps on Tour Number 19 – The Garden Isle, then I would like you to leave your prejudices back at the Hotel Room (in Copenhagen) and enjoy Amager for its charms and differences.

Ask anyone in Copenhagen!!

 

Posted in Denmark, Travel

Copenhagen Tour Number 56 – Revised

I am sorry to say that Copenhagen Tour Number 56 has had to be revised, due to circumstances beyond my control.

It seems that a group of radical elements, have taken the law into their own hands, having altered the nature of one of my most famous tours: “Visiting Christiana’s Pusher Street.”

On 2nd September 2016 members of what I would call, “radical elements of the competitive travel industry in Copenhagen” took it upon themselves to destroy one of Denmark’s most enduring landmarks.

We’ve seen this type of wanton vandalism before when person or persons unknown, sawed off the head of the Little Mermaid Statue, or Spray-painted the Jelling Stone. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jelling_stones).

A number of the trip participants who have waited some years to realize their fondest dreams of this tour, have expressed their unbelief that someone would do such a dastardly act, and remove one of Denmark’s oldest institutions using hammers and chainsaws?

I have tried to conduct this tour all the same, passing out “almost legal” paraphernalia, with an enclosed note “for educational use only” in order to “Save the Day” for this time-honored trip.

Some of you might want to remember “The Good Old Days” by lighting a, well let’s just call it an organic candle” in quiet remembrance of this once famous location in Copenhagen. If you choose to do so, then I would advise you to form a crowd while doing so, then move away, using your “crowd” as a cover, in case any of those undesirable elements (often disguised as Policemen) might approach you in a threatening way.

Remember, when the tour is over, I would please ask all of you to extinguish your “organic candles” before re-entering the bus, and disavow any, or all knowledge of how this “candle” came into your possession, if asked at any time, during your stay in Copenhagen.

If all goes well, you will be saving money on your evening refreshments, due to that lingering feeling of “well-being” after a pleasant day in Christiana.

PS Remember to tell your friends on Twitter about your experiences using the correct Hash-Tags for this event!

 

 

 

Posted in Canada, Denmark, Travel

On a Mission

You’ve probably heard that line before? The Blues Brothers? Hello, Isn’t there anyone over 21 years old out there?

It doesn’t really matter, I guess. I wouldn’t want to be so bold to say that I’m on a Mission from God, but if you feel that typifies my latest series of blogs on “Cop______n” then more power to you.

Missing letters? Yes. that is true. I guess a few of my readers, especially one in Canada, as objected to my use of “enhage” in one two many blogs about the subject! Helt ærligt, she usually says (Frankly) are you really interested in furthering the cause about telling the truth about Denmark’s Capital, or are you just funning with your readers?

I’m happy that some of you out there are wide awake, keeping me on the straight and narrow! I was starting to wonder if some of you pressed “Like” the minute I posted a blog, or was it just my imagination that you did? Anyway, if you are looking for my interpretation of the truth about København (the Danish Name), then you’ve come to the right place. I say, my interpretation, because we all see things differently, making my interpretation just as valid as yours.

“What if we come to Kbh (Danish Abbr.) in February, and it is not at all like you’ve written about?”

Another valid argument, which I won’t do too much about dispelling. I could have used words like “perhaps” or, “i alle sandsynlighed” (in all probability) to cover my back side in case of the snowstorm/ice storm/ big freeze of 2017, but that would take away all of the charm and mystery of visiting Djævleøen (Devil’s Island – Slang for the island of Zealand), and its Capital City, Merchants’ Harbour (meaning of the Danish Name).

Until the Danish Constabulary shows up at my doorstep, accusing me of the misuse of the word, then I guess, I’ll just continue telling the world about this City.

Everything being in my opinion, of course…..

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Christiansborg Palace – Seat of Danish Parliament

Posted in Canada, Travel

Copenhagen in a Day

What! Are you one of those “12 European Cities in 10 day type of people?” Don’t you get any vacation at all in the States? Take it easy, and don’t worry about seeing Copenhagen in 1-day.

I would suggest the 10-day version, allowing you to get drunk a few times, and still enjoy the next day with a True Scandinavian Hangover! Trust me, I’ve tried that more than once, but don’t let the next day scare you, while you are out on the Dance Floor, boogying to some singer, who you’ve never heard of with an equally foreign woman with her hand in your wallet!

I would suggest my tour Nr. 22 – The Red-Eye Tour of Copenhagen. We start easy with drinks at Nyhavn enjoying the Elephant ice-skating trials, then lunch at John Bull Pub where cheese and crackers go down nicely with Beer and Aquavit. Then we will stroll down the Pedestrian Street, Strøget with its Street Artists and shops that you can’t afford anyway.

I would remind you of the form, you signed at the beginning of the tour about urinating down those quaint alleyways, or on fountains along the way. Plains-clothed Policemen will be assisting you in that understanding to put their hands down in your wallets relieving you of DKr 1500 if caught doing something, you’ve promised me that you wouldn’t.

This trip might just get re-named to the “Hand down my wallet trip”, but let’s not be too hasty. Now it is time for Copenhagen by Night. At this juncture, I’ll be updating my head-count to see, how many of you have gotten lost along the way. If there still is over 50% of the original number in our group, we’ll take an unscheduled trip up the Round Tower, which affords nice views over the city.

For those of you who aren’t feeling a bit queasy looking at the sights, I’ll be pouring my special concoction of Aquavit+Beer+Aspirin to those, who don’t feel by that point in time, that their eyes are sufficiently red. The aspirin is included to help you cope with “The Day After” when you wake up in a Copenhagen Hotel next to an, as yet unknown Canadian, who you have proposed marriage to! That too is an undisclosed extra on this trip that I am offering at no additional cost!

After the Round Tower, we’ll be finishing off the trip near Trip Nr. 15 The Crooked Castle Trip. I feel that it is only natural for you to get a sneak preview of the next trip, allowing you to experience this otherwise Crooked Castle in its upright position ! Isn’t Alcohol wonderful like that?

Now we will be parting company, but rest assured that I will point you in the direction of the hotel and even provide a seeing-eye Tourist Guide for you to locate your room again, for a small additional cost.

Tomorrow, when the alarm clock is ringing and you wonder why you purchased my Red-Eye tour in the first place, you’ll be happy to know that you are not alone in your misery. How did I put this trip together, you might ask? Well, after a Trade Union Party, I was struck with the idea about, about. Why did I get this idea? I was standing outside waiting for, waiting for. Hm. I forget.

Wait a minute. Someone asked me outside the Convention Center, “Who is that Canadian woman, I saw you with?”

My reply was, “That was no Canadian Woman, that was my Danish wife!”.

And the rest is history……………….