When He Asks You

When he asks you
his wife to be
where would I, could I
be?

There was room for me
once in your life
when all of the times
rough and cruel
when you a friend, needed
someone like me,

When he falls upon his knee
and takes your hand in his
where should I stand?

Off to one side, in the shadows
face turned away, stifling a sob
the first well-wisher
the first to congratulate
no one to offer their condolences
to me?

Thinking only of myself
thinking that I only
would have caught your eye,
or turned your fancy

If I could make you, force you
to admit, to look me in the eyes
to tell me that
to tell me that

You never loved me,
never just once,
but forcing your hand, now
but forcing the truth, makes me

It makes you want to pity me
who I am, what I was
a friend lost, a jealous one not
ever having the courage
not ever falling upon my knee

Taking your hand
saying goodbye
with all other goodbyes contained
I lost my love, I lost my chance
I waited too long,

Too long,

When he asks you
finally,
when he asks you to be his
forever,
when he pledges his love, his life
to yours,

Where will I be?

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Train Track Trilogy – 3rd Installment

Who says nothing exciting ever happens in Denmark? OK other than me? Well, there must be a lot of you out there that have that impression. I used to think of Denmark as farms, Copenhagen and, well, farms.

Remember this photo?

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Taken to the north of the Train Station in Aalborg.

No? What about this one?

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Taken at the Train Station in Aalborg!

Doesn’t ring any bells, does it? Well, blogging might be about poetry, or the realization that I might be in a mental state that others would relate to? Or, was is just to say that my dog likes to walk and eat?

Here is the photo of the day from the south of the Train Station in Aalborg:

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OK. There are two of them, but you might be able to see (using your imagination and the previous photos) the Train Station in Aalborg to the right of the train on the right?

This is a right right question without any room left for doubt. If, on the other hand, I had referred to the trains on the left:

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Then they might have looked like these here, in which your attention is now completely taken by the trains in the middle, and on the left, or the left left, if I was referring to them as well. Notice how the photo disregards the right right trains, pushing them into the background, to the right of the middle trains, there are 2 of them, and to the extreme right of the left left trains on the, well, on the left.

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This photo does not contain any train pictures, but does refer to the state of extreme dirty road signs in Aalborg.

Ever hear about Aarhus?

aarhus 2017

source: http://www.aarhus2017.dk/en/

Well in 2017 it has been named the European Capital of Culture.

No, Not Aalborg.

Yes, I realize that they both have to A’s, but that is because we are in Denmark.

Why would anyone want to do that?

To take pictures of the train tracks, of course!

Or of the rainy bike paths, like these:

End of blog….

In the Doorway

She stood in the doorway
while the night grew old
and waited for me
and waited for me

Dressed to the hilt
out with her friends
the night called out
being loud and light

the night called out

She stood in the doorway
her face occluded,
the moon trying
to lure her out, failing just
failing just,

My night was still young
when we met each other then
my hands were still warm, touching
her face, cradling

The night called out
with sirens, screams and shouts
the drunken vigor fading
the bottles flowed, and staggered
the night grew weary
in its attempt to continue,
in its attempt to be young,

She stood in the doorway
no agenda to face
her friends still trying
to re-live the night again
no measure of alcohol
to make the night new
to bring back the joy
that they together once new

The night called out
the morning as well
as we sauntered away
as we drifted away

fading into
the rising sun…

If I Want To

I will cry
if I want to
why do people look
aghast at that?

I will deny all hatred
If I want to
there are people who
will fight anyone else
just for the sake
of saying, they are right,

I will dream my dreams
If I want to
and no one else has the right
to say that I am wrong,

I will shout at injustice
if I want to,
stop the killings, stop the crimes
I will shout until I lose my voice
if no one else will shout with me,

I will tell someone, they are great
if I want to
everyone needs encouragement
if no one else tells them, how
how will they know?

I will write, these many words
if I want to,
anyone who reads them,
anyone who disagrees,
anyone who likes what they see,
anyone who doesn’t understand
anyone who doesn’t want to
understand,

Anyone is allowed to do those things
if they want to

As long as
they don’t hurt me, you, anyone else
in the process

If they want to…

Going, Been to, California

July 2017. Just after the 4th, I took a 14-day trip to the Golden State, mostly for the funeral of my younger sister, but also to join my family in dealing with/experiencing her final goodbye.

I took some pictures along the way, and seeing as how my site, “Traveling Down My Inner Ear” is finished, I felt obliged to put them on this site instead.

Part 1: Goodbye Denmark, Hello Amsterdam

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That is Denmark below, if you didn’t recognize it.

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I felt a bit homesick. Going home to California. Leaving my home in Denmark.

Two sides of the same story, I guess.

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The clouds were nice, and the weather too.

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KLM had a nice sandwich waiting for me with a small box adorned with chickens.

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Note the obvious Dutch Windmill Theme!

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Holland on End.

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Amsterdam always seems a bit on the largish side. (over 800,000)

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I’ve never actually been outside the airport, so I don’t know if it counts, saying that I’ve been there?

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At the airport. The blue /white planes in the background belong to KLM.

I’d like to say that these photos have a deeper meaning, but that would be pulling your funny bone. Try to enjoy the view from my vantage point, but don’t worry about not seeing new things, I’m sure there will be something for you in the upcoming chapters!

Next time: Flying over the Atlantic Ocean.

Someone to Blame

Everyone needs someone to blame. I’m not saying  that this is  a necessity, but it does tend to crop up, even in the best of us.

As an example: Yesterday, I needed to remove a bush that was growing in the wrong spot after having done some changes in my garden. I dug and cursed, then I managed to break the shaft of the shovel in the process. With no one else about, I yelled at the dog. He only looked at me as if it concerned food or walking, but took no notice of it otherwise.

Silly fool. I then apologized to him, telling him what he already knew – that it was not his fault anyway.

My shovel was still broken and the bush was still firmly rooted to the ground. So what did I learn from this incident?

Another example: A co-worker of mine, actually 2 of them have stopped recently. One by choice and not. With them gone, the workload has increased with numerous errors showing up concerning untreated customer complaints, and other unfinished business items. Who is to blame? Well, they are of course. They didn’t manage to train the rest of us, nor did they complete the assignments that would still be ongoing even though they had moved on.

Is there a statue of limitations, I do wonder?

My most current example is my own procrastination. I have accomplished a few things while enjoying a week off from work, but the tasks that require more work and concentration, are sadly, still lacking in my otherwise non-busy schedule. Who am I to blame this time?…..

I hate it, when I have to accept the blame for my own shortcomings. Why couldn’t I have been better to do those things? Why wasn’t my dog willing to take the blame for yet another thing that he didn’t do?

I guess, I could stop writing this blog, and get to getting! There must be something that needs doing, other than what should be doing?

You see. There are always ways out of this kind of predicament. I might start by making a list of things to do, with the  most important ones on top.

Or, I can still make the list, while leaving out the nasty, undone tasks, and just pretend as if they never existed in the first place!

I love being in charge of my life….

Blatant Loneliness

I ask myself, what is loneliness?

I’d like to think of blogging as a way to define the loneliness in my life. I am surrounded by my family, my co-workers and the rest of society, but I still feel a twang of being alone.

Expressing oneself by blogging is a way to tell the world, “Hey. I’m out there, somewhere. Look at me”. The results can be obvious with “liking”, or less personal with “reading”. If you are into comments then you could encourage them, but they start to dig deeper into your psyche. They might become too personal, or challenging to accept, but there are other ways out of them. Just choose not to approve them.

Are you lonely in your life? It’s ok if you don’t answer, because others might point fingers at you, telling you how rich your life is, and that they love and care for you, but…

I accept my feelings of loneliness. There are just some things about living that cannot be cured, no matter how much some of us try. I find solace in a touch of melancholy. It helps me to write, which in turn connects me with the rest of the world, making me feel less lonely again.

Until the next time…..

One Short Moment at the Train Station

I am not to show/take any photos of my son. That would be the ultimate embarrassment for a teenager.

“Why are you taking so many photos?”

“Why have you said the wrong things?”

“Why are you (all) still here. I can take the train on my own.”

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An automatic ticket machine – Denmark is a modern country.

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Model trains that take your donations and entertain you a few moments.

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Food disguised as sugar and caffeine can be purchased.

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Sprechen Sie Deutsch? Well, if not then you can pretend anyway.

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No, this is not HAL from 2001, A Space Odyssey. This is where your plastic card containing your money is transferred to someone elses bank, thus allowing you to travel on the train (or, bus) – Rejsekort

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Some of you are probably still looking up 2001, A Space Odyssey on IMDB, so for the rest of you, this is a view to the south at the Train Station.

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And the view north.

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A classic manhole cover (or personhole cover for political correctness)

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This might be the back of someone’s son, showing off his FDF-shirt (FDF a Christian organization for children and youth in Denmark). If you said “Scouts” to him you might just have your face slapped!

 

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One of the trains heading south.

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Raised metal studding on the inside floor of the Train Station. For your eyes only.

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My pathway towards the car, after embarrassing my son, and his friends with my presence.

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Looking across the parking lot towards the buildings on the eastern side of John. F. Kennedy’s Plads in Aalborg.

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Train Station (Aalborg St. ) Kennedy Plads seen in Red.

Courtesy Google Maps.

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Always a few bicycles to see in Denmark.

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The view from the north of the Train Station:

My wife: Why are you still taking pictures?

End of blog…..

Giving and Taking

What we give to each other
what we take
what comprises our complexities
what defines our frailties

I cherish the time
the seconds turned minutes
this section of my life
my youth fading, lost gone
my twilight years
spent,

We enjoy each others company
whether said, or unsaid
the times, the experiences
the richness we bestow upon each other
and what we reserve for ourselves,

We give of ourselves, hoping
to enrichen others,
sending a part of, that which comprises
that which implores others to listen
to learn, to enjoy,

I take what I need
from the grace of others
not always aware of such things
in the lesser part of this greater substance
called life,

I am amazed by the subtleties
that which we all possess, in which
some being able to translate their gifts
to give to others, to give to others,

A friendship
one consisting of more than just words
running, diving under the surface
turning somersaults in the air
bursting with joy, laughing, then crying
all of the emotions that define us
all of that which makes this life worth
living,

Giving and taking
neither just the one, nor the other
being there, not always,
just existing as an idea, a wish
one that draws us together without
without having all of the intentions
no, not necessarily the touch of
a lover’s hand, nor the caress of a cheek
against mine,

Giving and taking
listening and reacting
walking silently, yelling in discontent
waving away the injustices, the sadness
warming the moment with a virtual hug

Our time
our words
what we give to each other
what we take from one another

Our time
together….

Uncompromisingly Simple

It seems, I’ve grown tired
tired with endless
arguments
never winning, nor losing

But we can do it
if you please,

I’ve walked and run about
thinking and brooding
about
About you and I and
why

Why are we still worrying about
it,
why are we not doing something about
it?

I’m tired of all the others
the reasons for and against
the countless sleepless nights
the countless times I’ve tried

Oh how I’ve cried about it
and I’ll probably have to lie about it
but why, oh why?

And if you say yes,
then,

Why make something so simple
why make something so obvious
why continue to run away from it
stop it and face it, yell it and shake it

Why aren’t we together
why not then, why not now

I just can’t get it straight in my head
anymore,
I just can’t get it out of my thoughts
anymore,

It seems so uncompromisingly simple
it seems as if,
I can’t stand it anymore
if you, if we don’t,

Why aren’t we together
why not then, why not now,
right now, here beside me,
why am I still writing about it
why aren’t you here to stop me

And if you say yes,
then….