That is when I started being jealous. It is not a pretty thing, but hey! It happened.
I wanted you to be single. Just a single girl out there alone in the world. Boy, how wrong I could be!
No matter. You were still single on New Year’s Eve, with only your brother and parents celebrating this event. I forgive you for that, but…
Then you showed up sitting next to your boyfriend! Some people’s kids. I did read one mention of “we” but it might just have been a slip of the keyboard, and not the revelation of you being unfaithful!
On February 9th 2015 your secret was revealed! Try as you may to disguise the fact, you really did have someone else, and that made my jealousy increase beyond the first gentle suspicions of your infidelity…
February 11. The day that will live in infamy. The day that revealed to me that you indeed have a boyfriend. You were sitting by his side, and this and that. Later on you were visiting New York City with unnamed companions, not caring how it affected me. You were trying on wedding dresses, and courting French lovers. It seems that whatever and whenever you wrote a blog, there were more men that were involved with you…..
Jealousy….Not a pretty word, no matter how you look at it! But the the plot thickened.
You wondered yourself, how I could be here, where I am, without having a significant other to share my life with. And yes, the answer was that I too would be in the arms of someone, who wasn’t you, and would be flaunting that truth, without knowing it myself!
Then you also wondered where the jealous side of me had gone, as I didn’t seem to mention it anymore in my writings, and communication with you, which told you that I had overcome my jealousy, making our lives less exciting than they were before!
But if all of this was just a collection of words on this piece of imaginary paper, would it change the feelings that you had for me, or those that I had for you, if of course our imaginary spouses did not exist, even in our memories, and definitely not in the way that would make our jealousy pale in their morning light?
You see now that being jealous is not something that should be considered due to its uncertainties and misunderstandings of you, me and them. If, we could be together, then I wonder how long it would be that we would become jealous all over again, as it was the defining high point of our non-relationship with each other? We could beat everyone to the punch, and start by imagining ourselves with someone else, other than who we currently are with, but not necessarily each other, then we could be jealous, without having to cause each other pain by doing so.
I hope to receive your reply, unless of course this blog causes you distress? If so, then I would rip it into tiny shreds of virtual paper, and complain to your mother that your non-relationship with that lousy, no good, imaginary lover did to you exactly what she had told you would happen, if of course, he had been real in the first place.
Then we won’t be jealous of each other anymore…..