Cut the Rope, She Yelled…

I stood there, against the cliff face, holding on to dear life and limb. She was underneath me, somewhere out of sight, the rope that held us both alive, was breaking one strand at a time.

“Cut the rope!”, she yelled to me.

“Save yourself!”

“Don’t think about me!”

How could I not think about her? Such a dilemma. Sink or swim, and without knowing how to do the latter. “She loves me, she loves me not”. That other woman didn’t mean anything to me….

Why would those thoughts go through my head right now? Why not think of the good times, the loving times, our future together?

Why not that?

“You can’t keep holding on. Cut the rope, and save yourself!”

Save myself? Why would I want to do that? Why would I want to continue living, without her?

The sky had darkened, as the wind whipped around my hands, chafing them more than the sharp edges of the rope that bound us together. If only….Perhaps if I yelled for help….?

Who would help us now? It was just us two in a sea of humanity, with them not knowing of us or our problems. “Would you accept help, if it were offered to you?” She used to ask me, when times seemed tough, with there being no way out, not that we could see, anyway. “Do you think there is a chance, for us?” No counselor could save us from ourselves. No rope was strong enough to hold the both of us, “I pull, but you push…Why can’t we pull in the same direction?”

Why couldn’t we do that?

I adjusted my position leaning a bit more against the rock face, making sure not to let any more slack out, lest the rope decided at that moment to snap completely. “What are you waiting for?” She yelled once again. “Why would you hesitate?”

Why indeed?

My hands seemed to be frozen around the rope, my white knuckles matching the thin woven strands that joined my life to hers.

Life in a single, fragile strand…

I bit my lower lip in order to know if I were still alive, or if my mind was hanging on to a distant memory, while I fell over the edge to the depths below. Did I see her? When the rope finally broke, tumbling me over the precipice. Was that her, I saw as the end came closer? Was it her worried face, or satisfied grin that occupied the last nanoseconds of my fading existence?

I don’t believe, she ever wanted things to come this far. A part of me wanted to remember how we were in the beginning, before the kids came, and the house payments, unending. She and I used to talk about our lives together, our starting-out lives, when things seemed much simpler and uncomplicated.

I had another girlfriend, when I was just starting out in life. She told me that if, during childbirth, the question came to saving her, or the baby, I would have to choose the life of the child over her. What a choice to make.

“My hands have gone numb” She called out from below. “I can’t feel anything, anymore”.

That was it, wasn’t it? Not being able to feel anything, anymore. I hated to think that things had come so far that we only had one choice before us, the literal rock and a hard place. This was, though, different. Way different. Now it was the rocks which were keeping her alive, for a few minutes more. Alive to continue with the way that she smiled, and laughed. I loved the way she giggled over the silliest of things. Trivialities and less than that.

Another strand started to unravel. I couldn’t stem the tide, nor stop the icy winds from blowing. All of my entwined hopes, were unraveling before my eyes, no time to waste, no time at all.

Suddenly the rope slackened, as if her weight had disappeared from its grasp.

“I’ve found a new foothold” she cried up to me. “I think, I can hold on this time!”

I dared not release my grasp. What if it were a ruse? A way to make me give in and up? What if she had unfastened herself from her tethers, expecting me to do the same, finishing the job once and for all….

“Can you see me now?” She called out from below. I tried to fasten the rope on an outcrop of rock, allowing me to peer over the edge, where our destiny lay.

“Yes!” I cried out. “Yes, I can see you now” said while lying flat on the ground, reaching out my hand towards hers. The numbness disappearing along with the thoughts of us meeting our fates, our lost hopes.

A chance became us, and encompassed us. Casting away all doubt with its questionable strengths and weaknesses.

“You didn’t let go” She sobbed, while we held each other at last. “You believed in us, didn’t you?”

Yes. I believed in us. Despite the doubts and other thousand thoughts that rolled through me head in those few moments that we were apart, I still believed in us.

-Stronger than any rope

-Any day…..

 

By My Fire

Come and warm yourself

by my fire, the embers brightly

burning and I,

feeling a bit toasty for you

 

We could warm our feet, against the monitor,

the LCD’s crackling in the background,

the light dancing

my reflection in your eyes,

 

And what of the cold, the winds blowing

the thought of spending

time and money, of burning virtual

logs, and snuggling close

 

-as the embers died down,

-and our passions, blazed anew

 

Enjoying the fire, the touch of

your cozy knitted socks

and you…..

Every Time It Snows

I’d like to say that I’ve forgotten about her. I almost have, but then….

Every time it snows, I think of her. The way that she smiled, how her eyes lit up, when she spoke about us, how she made me feel….

Then the cold followed. The snow remained, just a bit more icy than before. Difficulties mounted, travel was made difficult, her mood changed as the barometer went up, or down

I wished, I prayed for a thaw, a lessening of emotions, a way to a means to release the tension between us….

Then it snowed again. I loved how she smiled every time I stumbled on the icy walkways, with her picking me up and dusting me off, holding me close, and……

I wish the winter would have no end, no spring to entice, no thoughts of anyone else, no want of anything, but snow…

Spring announced its arrival, and she, her departure

Things were changing, and we along with them

When the thaw began, she left me, she couldn’t take anymore, we couldn’t snow together…..

Every time it snows, I think of her, and I wonder……

 

 

Fantasy Chicken Stew with Pomegranate Flourishes

Today’s soup doesn’t really exist, so unless your imagination is very colorful, then you might be disappointed along the way?

Stew can be many things. Sometimes, I don’t even use meat which causes most people to make the sign of the cross and whisper “Vegan” to one another. I’ve tried to tell them over the years that by using lentils and Bulgar, or another grain like rice, then I can make a complete protein as good as one with meat!

But that kind of talk just falls on deaf ears.

Tonight’s stew is a combination of fresh vegetables, and those that have been languishing away in my refrigerator. The cabbage can almost speak, and the celery is getting a bit spongy in its appeal!  Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t been visited by Mr Mold as yet, but it would be a shame not to use, what I’ve already used money on!

I’m starting with some chicken, which I’ll be frying a bit in some oil in a deep pot on the stove. I really should turn on the fan, otherwise the lights will drown in condensation, and the chicken splatter will be everywhere, but it is very noisy, and my wife might not be able to complete the next level of Pet Rescue on Facebook with too much spectacle in the background?

While the chicken is frying, I’ll be adding onions, carrots and celery to the mix., then after a few minutes of cooking, covering the whole she bang with water.Then I have some parsnips, and beets with the potatoes coming in last, but not least. Oops, I’ve forgotten the salt. Some have said that it either has too little or too much salt, but I’ll let you be the judge of that.

Here is a spoon. I’ll take some of the sauce, Watch out! It is hot. Wait and I’ll blow on it a bit. It’s kind of like pizza, it looks good enough to attack when still in the box, but then you’ll be telling yourself the next day, it was worth burning your tongue and roof of mouth by not waiting a few minutes more! There now. That’s better. Enough salt?

I can see by the nodding going on that I have enough, or just enough salt this time around.

I forgot to tell  you that I have indeed added the lentils and the Bulgar, but most of you have guessed that by now anyway.

I’ve decided to take the chicken out of the stew and let it cool. I could have left it in, but then the others would be fighting over who was getting what, thereby ruining the meal fit for Danish Kings/Queens that was set before them. I’ll de-bone the chicken, then add the meat to the stew in a few more minutes.

Oh, I’ve also added red bell peppers, and some chicken bouillon cubes, just because and no  other reason than  that!

While the soup/stew is finishing up, I’ll be peeling that pomegranate, that has been residing on my kitchen counter since New Year. I’ve thought about it before, but have always done something else than peel and eat it. That will be known as pomegranate flourishes, as a side dish for my almost done chicken soup!

My dog has been looking hopefully at me while I type this blog. “Anything for me?” he seems to ask, but he knows that fantasy chicken bones can still get caught in his throat, and make our lives miserable!

What about the recipe? you might be asking. Well, this one is only in my thoughts, and if you know anything about me, then you know that it’s better not too dwell too deep down there in the inky depths!

With the soup cooling in the kitchen, and the dog asleep on the floor, my job is done for the day. I hope you find to be as delicious as it looks in my mind, but don’t expect any pictures as yet!

Some things are better left to the imagination…………………

PS One of my fantasy potatoes fell on the floor, and the dog ran away with it. I hope, I can get it back before he tries to eat it….

 

I’m Tired, he said

Tired of everything. Tired of blogging. Tired of this life.

She wondered, if she was included in that sentence, but she didn’t wait to find out.

“I’ll be leaving you for a while”, she said while he was extending his list to the birds, the bees and the garbage collector.

I’ve run out of fingers and toes, he said, while she packed her bag. That would make….18 tireds, so far”.

Don’t you have 10 fingers and 10 toes like the rest of us, she asked while placing the suitcase by the front door, and fixing her hair in the mirror.

“You don’t know me that well, do you?” He said as he pulled off the one shoe, then the other. “And my socks, too.” he exclaimed. “I am so tired of my socks!”

And with that he went into the bedroom, oblivious to her standing there, car key in the one hand and suitcase in the other. She left without another word, slamming the door for good measure.

It was silent in her life now. No one complaining, no socks strewn about, no threats of street fights with the garbage collector.

She wanted to call him up, and see if he had calmed down and come to his senses. She waited, then called, but there was no answer. “What if….”

She played out the worst scenarios of suicidal kitchen frenzies, sock gagged stuffed animals, and, and….

She decided to go back, just to make sure that he was all right.

The apartment was filled with light, spilling out of every window and door, as if the inside was trying to get out. She cautiously walked through the door, expecting all of the angels in heaven, blowing horns and banging their tambourines.

She was met with silence. Utter and total silence. There were though stuffed animals strewn about, as if there had been a major battle, with no apparent winner in sight.

“Honey?” she asked slowly, but surely not wanting to tip the apple cart, nor upset the wingless bees flying around the many stuffed animal carcasses and holey sock piles!

“Dear” she repeated, while picking her way through the apartment, following the damaged clocks, china, and bull droppings. “Whew, who is going to clean up this mess?” she wondered aloud, when a sound came from the room directly in front of her. “Sugar Lips” she called out, as she prodded the door, wielding a nearby ax, with the word “Mama” etched in the fine Kentucky Hickory Handle.

Inside the room at last, she found what she had been looking for, and what she had feared the most. “Oh, Pickle Toes, there you are”, using her most affectionate name for the man in her life, as he sat on the bed looking like he’d lost his last friend in the world, and his friend’s brother to boot!

“I’m tired”, he said again, but didn’t follow up with an “of, a with, or an and!”

“I’m tired of being tired, and that makes me tired”, he said while speaking to the wall, not turning his head, or looking at the woman, who didn’t know who or what he had become?

“Are you also tired of me?” she asked, and then shielded her face, as if he would lash out at her!”

“No. No I am not, but I imagined that you had run off with the garbage collector, and then a frenzy came over me, and then there was no stuffed animal, who would be left to tell my tattered tale of mayhem and despair…..”

She tried to kick the remains of Mr Bear under the bed, lest he became excited once again.

“You see silly”, she said putting her hand on his shoulder, “Nothing to worry about, just lie down and get a good night’s sleep, and things will look better in the morning.” With that statement, he collapsed and went out like a light, while she just gazed upon the room around her.

I’ll just call my friends at the Waste Disposal Department and ask that they be extra quiet tomorrow on trash day, thinking to herself.

And I’ll have to cancel my secret date with Barney, the Trash Man, otherwise things might just get out of hand, again…..

Now. I am tired. So tired…….

 

 

Are You Thinking About Her Again?

That might just be what my wife might just ask me some day?

What is my answer? Yes. Oh Yes!

She was together with me on New Year’s Eve, and I think about her each and every day!

You see. I’ve promised you a blog about Love and Desire in my attempt to fail at that subject, just as wholeheartedly as everything else, I put my mind to!

There we were, together when the fireworks were exploding in the background, toasting to each other, as if we had waited our whole lives for that moment in time!

My dog was there as well. Waiting and hoping, as I was for a taste of……

What? Cheese!

img_6572

My wife went crazy in the Cheese Department of the local store! She is obviously not one to keep me from, what truly matters in this life!

My wife, tempting me with someone else…..testing my love, or what?

Another successful failure at blog writing………………….