When the floorboards creaked, I said “They do make a lot of noise, don’t they?”

but she said, “They have always held our weight before, when we……”

“Exactly” I said, “when we moved that heavy chest of drawers over to the wall, and..”

“No. That’s not what I meant”, she said. “We’ve come a long way to get this far, so….”

In which I replied, “Yes, and my feet are tired from walking up that hill, so next time…”

“You and I” she said a bit more exasperated. “We have never gotten this far, before…If we are going all the way this time, we need to keep a clear head. If you would kiss me now, then I’m pretty sure that will lead to….”

“Well well well” I said. ” This might be taken wrong, but with floorboards creaking, coming a long way, kissing and leading to, some might misinterpret our encounter her, as one of a sexual nature! And I’m sure that was not your intention, was it now?”

“No. Of course not”she said inching towards the door. “When we are ready for something like that, then we both, at the same exact time, will know it, won’t we?”

“Yes”, I replied. “When I find the right girl for me, then it will be the right time……”




She Accused Me

She accused me
of causing her both
heartache and desire

I would
never dispute
her claims, but
which one
did she really want
from me?

When she makes up her mind, I’m sure I’ll hear

about it ….

Her Smile

Her smile
bearing a trace
a line of sugar
her kisses,
tempting me
to taste,

Her look
hidden behind
the brim of her hat pulled low
reminding me of
Ingrid Bergman,
just before
Humphrey Bogart
kissed her,

Her attraction
so imminently
contagious, drawing me
closer yet,

Holding on
her, me
who did so first
who wouldn’t let go
the us defined
in the way she looked
at me

at me

Her smile
one of mystery turned
the redness, the warm
feel of her skin against

Her lips electric,
lighting, illuminating
feeling them close
feeling her breath, against
my skin,

Her smile, her smile….


Her Distant Stare

Not one to look
over the next
mountain range
or, bookcase blocking my view
of where she might
be looking,
or, if she glared in my direction
my obvious faults
thus considering,
whether I was worth
the trouble,
or if,
it were better
to pick the low-hanging
at hand?

An apple for your thoughts
my love….



Flowers wouldn’t do
and candy made her fat
cards were a waste of trees, and money
jewelry never matched the color of her skin

What to do
What to buy
If we agreed to not give something
then one of us would,

If I didn’t, she’d be mad
accuse me of not loving her
tell 10 of her friends what a lout I was
make a dinner of meatloaf and cola
without the bubbles!

I’d change my name to “Val”
the love God,
the one who would please and tease her
the one who grew flowers spelling her name
the only one she’d ever need, love

but what if she didn’t care for the name

what then?

Happy “Val” Day to you all….


Wanted: Problem Solver


In response to your advertisement, I would like to present you with my qualifications:

1. Ability to keep a cool head, in the most heated exchanges

2. Willingness to step between the two arguing parties, keeping a neutral stance at all times.

3. Applying the suggestion that newly baked cookies and strong coffee/tea will have a calming effect on heated tempers

4. Ability to calm people down by singing a soft lullaby, while holding their hands and stroking their hair

5. If nothing else seems to work, then use of force, in limited ways, tends to help calm the wild beast in others

6. Always ready with a supply of moving boxes, if the other part decides to move out with little notice.

7. Willingness to take your side, tell you how fabulous you look, and how I’ve always been certain that he was no good for you

8. Assuring you that we are good for each other, and that I will love and respect your feelings as long as we are together

9. Reserving the right to fall down upon my knee and presenting you with a ring, a bouquet of flowers and a “rent-a-preacher” if we feel the time to be right

10. Renewed force will be exerted if he tries to break down the front door to assure you of his renewed love. I will help you to fill out the forms for restraining order, when the time comes.

I’ve submitted my application in triplicate, including one by e-mail, and posting my intentions on your Facebook page.

If any of the above points are unclear, then please drop me a line, or better yet, use the return form with an equal number of answers.

I look forward to a continued life with you……


God’s Gift to Women

She’s a keeper, I’m sure of it
she wants me, I know the signs

he is like so many others, thinks he owns me

a bit of alcohol, some music, a few drinks more
then it’s Wham-Bam-Thank-You Ma’am

too much alcohol. Not enough to make him look good
a roll in the hay, a one-night stand, I’m better than that

We could eat at home, no need to go out

first date. I think dinner and perhaps a movie

Those love films are so predictable, the woman doesn’t
always get her man, but you are different

Perhaps some small talk. A glass of wine, then if I can stand it
a goodnight kiss

Oops! Just a bit of air in the stomach. Good Home Style Cooking,
you know?

Things can’t get any worse, or could they?

I can see how she’s looking at me, those eyes want me

Why is he leering at me? Should I scream?

Her lips are beckoning me towards her. Easy little lady.Easy
does it. I know what you want, and I’m sure you’ll get it soon.

I didn’t think it could get any worse, then he started to talk
oh well,
there are plenty of other men

in the sea

Just my own version. I can only speak for myself. How close did I get, anyway?



I was having trouble swatting flies, when you said you could help me.

First the matter of the implement to be used, making the choice between something that was big, round, long or just ribbed in order to get the maximum thrust of beating that pesky fellow until he was no more.

You said that every fly would experience some pain and pleasure in its life, and we being the master and it the slave, would be deciding how many swats, would be necessary to obtain the maximum amount of needed punishment.

You had more to say, but many of those words were on the tip of your tongue, which always seemed to pleasure my ears with your suggestions. The fly, however, seemed to be impatient wanting it now, being with repeated strokes, or swats, as long as the waiting being over and done with, thus experiencing its climatic, most satisfying, in a blaze of ultimate glory end to it all.

I had trouble finding the swatter, but you found it in the end by bending over and motioning me over to assist you in pulling it out, and placing it in the correct position. I said that swatting flies was not in my field of expertise, but you said that you were well-versed in many and varied positions of doing just that, and it would please you greatly showing me the ropes, thus binding my imagination with your skills.

Now was the time for the fly to kiss death, which after so much pre-swatting, seemed to make us feel all hot and bothered at that thought. You just took my hand and guided it to the fly-swatter, with a gentle motion towards what we both knew needed to be done. I felt a most certain power and determination as I pinned my thoughts to the floor, almost screaming in delight when the final movements were in place.

The fly never knew what hit him/her, which was the most humane way to end it all. Some would have been pounding/swatting it until the swatter was all worn-out, but others would have bided their time, choosing to prolong this final act with other ways of enjoying the moment for what it was worth. You chose to nod in agreement, showing me that I had attained the proper level of administering what it deserved, and promising me to be there the next time, when the deed needed again to be done.

If you too are experiencing difficulty in swatting flies, then I would suggest someone like my friend to help you in your endeavors. She is just an example of someone who will take the necessary time to guide you along this process, until the final act is to be performed, making sure all of the details and extra needed accessories are included to make this experience a memorable one.  It is truly, something that I will never forget,

and you will not as well…..



The Likes of You

I would never
ever attempt, to try
to influence your feelings
for me

I realize
that you are above
any and all kinds
of frivolous signs
of affection, or attention

I would never try
to impress you, tell you
how wonderful, you are
in any way, shape or form

Flowers, candy and the like
will never come into play
because I know, they wouldn’t
do a thing for the likes of you,

I won’t be wasting your time
telling you how special
you make me feel,
or how wonderful it is
being in your company,

If anyone asks
why I could be/would be
the luckiest man alive
having someone like you
at my side,

I’d have to tell them
that you would never consent
to consort
with the likes of me,

Perhaps the one on this planet
that cares the most for you
and would do anything at all
to keep you happy, no matter what,

I would have to admit that
honestly, and without reservation
with my eyes sparkling just
with the mention of your name,

I would do all that and more
just to keep you away
from someone

with the likes of me….


When I Was,

When I was loving you
the last time, when your smile
when mine fused
into one,
the last time, the night darker
than the one before
warmer and closer
not seeing, but feeling

When I last was loving you
yesterday, today, the want
the need, seeing you leaving
the room
returning again,
the moon plays on your skin
tempting me, leading me
to play on it as well,

When, now was I loving you
others wanting, asking, wondering
were left as such, while I, we
chased each other’s emotions
trapping, hiding, accepting
my lies turned truths
when you asked me,
when you wanted to know how
how I really felt,

When we are loving each other
now, then, the next time, the years fly
when we only know, have known, will know
each other and what life, the future brings
when I was loving you, and only you
forsaking all others, wanting just
wanting only, just you

When I was loving you…