Your Photograph

The one defining moment
the one second of time
when we together
were

Your photograph
taken,
when life was as it should have
been
not as it has become,

The one instant
when you turned towards me
not expecting,
not expecting,

That one short breath
your hand touching mine
for the first time, the very first time
that one deciding moment,

Your photograph
painting a picture in my mind
not being able to
not wanting to remember you
other than what I remember
you to be

That one photograph
now being lost to time
search I did
endlessly, retracing my steps
there where we met,
that photograph
that moment
now lost,

I see now, what I failed to before
the moments that define
the moments that put words on
this existence,
like photographs existing
an eternity in that second
never-ending, never changing

My photograph
of you,

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Just Sitting

Just sitting
on your meadow step
wanting only your sunshine
to brighten up my day,

While the birds were singing
and the gentle breezes cooling
you were not present
to enjoy this moment in my life,

I would like to say
that you’d filled all of my dreams
awake, or nighttime halls
the thoughts that drifted through my mind
while I thought of someone else,

but that would place me
possessing an untruth, a feeble attempt
to woo you towards my needing heart
the someone that is you,

I sat upon your meadow step
not expecting you to sit beside me
just enjoying the warmth of the sun
upon my face, caressing my skin,
bringing me to the edge of ecstasy
drowning me in the pool of desire,

When looking out away from that place
that moment in time, my short of breath
my thoughts fluttering, like birds singing
and waters flowing, the warmth of the sun
shining down upon me
-as if you were above me,
-as if you were existing,

Sitting close enough to touch your skin
along the meadow paths, with bees buzzing
and waters meandering, along towards
the course chosen, tried and true
the waters reflecting, the you

Not moving from my sunny step
nor wanting to leave anytime soon
just enjoying the thought turned reality
the thought that was you…..

A Short Walk Home

He was waiting for her
when she got off work

Unexpected, but

“Are you here to escort me?”

“Yes.” He replied. “Your short walk home”

“Oh, What a surprise. She giggled”

“Will you be staying long in MontrĂ©al?”
she asked rather hopeful, it seemed.

“No. I’ll just be passing through this part
of your imagination tonight”
he said, as if he always spoke like that.

“Well, we’re here”, he said and gave her a small hug.

“Don’t let go so quickly” she replied. “You are not here
that often”

“Only in your dreams, I guess” he said, as he drifted into the night.

“Dream men”, she thought. “So very here, then gone”

and with that, she disappeared into his dreams…..

Not All of the Moments

The minutes, the hours
since we last met
my dear,
not all of those moments
in between
not every thought
not every breath, I’ve taken
not every leaf fallen
from every season past,

Even if I could
use, steal, waylay
those lost instances
the time spent, the time lost
the time, we spent together

The minutes, the hours
the days, the years
how I wish, how I hope
how I long for your touch
how many minutes before you leave
how many hours before I cry
how many, how many

Too many, too much to count
too long in waiting, too long in hoping
my time, my heart, my breath
stretched to their limits
not being able to tell time by your absence
not being able to know, when

When will I see you again
instead of again,
instead of waiting
instead of tiring endlessly

When will I see you
without any agains, without any ends
with just a trace of bated breath
my time pieces broken
my measure of time
related to from when we met
until then, when we are

Parted again

I Never Wanted

I never wanted
to be her one and
only
her knight in shining armor
her significant other

I never asked
to be her lover, her friend,
the father of her children
the one that she dreamed
about,
the one that would take her breath
away,

I never wanted
to be the scorn of her family
the one that her father respected
or hated,
the one who her friends would talk
about,
the rising and the setting sun
the only
the only one,

All I wanted was for her
to bestow upon me
a little attention
to acknowledge
that I too, existed on this planet
like she did, just like she did

And then she kissed me
and then…..

Attention Get Her

Would I could I
should I ask her
will she, won’t she
would I have the courage
to?

The time spent
never wasted
the down and dirty
letter-written waste of time
never read, always on the phone
when I called to ask
to ask her,

Attention get her
when I climbed the walls
the ivy-clad walls,
the smoke trail from the airplane made me
cough,
attacking the balloon man
never enough balloons with “love” on
them,

Never enough with love on them

I painted my name on her step
I washed her car, I shined her shoes
the cable guy tuned in my message
for $50, when she in the shower
was,

I pounded on her door,
the police knew my name,
I ranted and raved, I called her
wrote her, texted her until my fingers
bled,

No network connection available

Paper airplanes bounced off her windows
while kites scrambled the telephone
lines,
I lie under her window while she watered
her plants,
I peeked into her letter box, I questioned
the neighbors
I hounded her parents until they cried
wolf

Wolf

The police know me, they tracked me down
threw me into the squad car.

The siren! The siren, I cried.
Then she will see, hear me
once and for all

The curtains fluttered
then opened a crack
then wide-open threw her
her picture, framed in my mind,

My goodness, she is pretty
almost as pretty as the woman

I thought she was
but wasn’t was

just wasn’t was

But pretty was she
all the same…..

If Only I Had

If only I had
the right ingredients
the optimal conditions
the environment conducive
to obtaining the best results,

If only I knew
just what the outcome would be
adding just the right amounts
of what you needed, what it took
what you desired, what you dreamed
about?

If only the day, the circumstances
the time, the surroundings, everyone
and everything in and around would
cooperate,

If only I had
the right ingredients
the proper temperature
the right amount of time
the finished product
tasting deliciously

If only, I could
bake the most perfect life

for you

When He Asks You

When he asks you
his wife to be
where would I, could I
be?

There was room for me
once in your life
when all of the times
rough and cruel
when you a friend, needed
someone like me,

When he falls upon his knee
and takes your hand in his
where should I stand?

Off to one side, in the shadows
face turned away, stifling a sob
the first well-wisher
the first to congratulate
no one to offer their condolences
to me?

Thinking only of myself
thinking that I only
would have caught your eye,
or turned your fancy

If I could make you, force you
to admit, to look me in the eyes
to tell me that
to tell me that

You never loved me,
never just once,
but forcing your hand, now
but forcing the truth, makes me

It makes you want to pity me
who I am, what I was
a friend lost, a jealous one not
ever having the courage
not ever falling upon my knee

Taking your hand
saying goodbye
with all other goodbyes contained
I lost my love, I lost my chance
I waited too long,

Too long,

When he asks you
finally,
when he asks you to be his
forever,
when he pledges his love, his life
to yours,

Where will I be?

In the Doorway

She stood in the doorway
while the night grew old
and waited for me
and waited for me

Dressed to the hilt
out with her friends
the night called out
being loud and light

the night called out

She stood in the doorway
her face occluded,
the moon trying
to lure her out, failing just
failing just,

My night was still young
when we met each other then
my hands were still warm, touching
her face, cradling

The night called out
with sirens, screams and shouts
the drunken vigor fading
the bottles flowed, and staggered
the night grew weary
in its attempt to continue,
in its attempt to be young,

She stood in the doorway
no agenda to face
her friends still trying
to re-live the night again
no measure of alcohol
to make the night new
to bring back the joy
that they together once new

The night called out
the morning as well
as we sauntered away
as we drifted away

fading into
the rising sun…

If I Want To

I will cry
if I want to
why do people look
aghast at that?

I will deny all hatred
If I want to
there are people who
will fight anyone else
just for the sake
of saying, they are right,

I will dream my dreams
If I want to
and no one else has the right
to say that I am wrong,

I will shout at injustice
if I want to,
stop the killings, stop the crimes
I will shout until I lose my voice
if no one else will shout with me,

I will tell someone, they are great
if I want to
everyone needs encouragement
if no one else tells them, how
how will they know?

I will write, these many words
if I want to,
anyone who reads them,
anyone who disagrees,
anyone who likes what they see,
anyone who doesn’t understand
anyone who doesn’t want to
understand,

Anyone is allowed to do those things
if they want to

As long as
they don’t hurt me, you, anyone else
in the process

If they want to…