Posted in Life, Poetry, Prose, Prose California

Being Reminded

The past
seemingly a frequent visitor
as of late
hasn’t yet decided to pack
its bags and leave me alone
for a while,

Too much of anything
either good or bad
tends to wear thin
on my patience

I’ve had to reach down deep
within myself, looking
searching, discussing, wondering
having to ask questions
that cannot be answered

A one-sided discussion
an argument that never ends
an opponent that fights back
relentlessly, unyielding
I cannot win, what I cannot see

Each day brings the hope
of resolution, forgiving,
peace of mind, and yet
it seems as if the questions continue
to outnumber the answers

The past
being reminded of things
that which I cannot change

That which continues to change
me

Posted in Life, Prose

Yellow Skies

Cloudy skies
turning yellowish
as the thunderstorm
neared,
I half expected
or, did I fear
a distant flash
a small rumble, closer
coming,
my nighttime views
orange became,
the greens and yellows
harboring a brownish
twinge,
the leaves
stopped in their tracks
a sudden hush
as if, as if
I pulled my coat
tighter around
my neck,
sensing an electric
feeling
present,
Yellow skies, warning
a change to come
not necessarily
for the better

but a change
nonetheless….

Posted in California, Life, Poetry, Prose

My New Look

My curly brown hair
a statement made,
it did,
parted in the middle
a bit Schizophrenic, but cool
thought I, anyway,

The years passed
taking the curls, and the color
but leaving the look,
just hidden, that is,
now I have whiskers
not like I imagined
but whiskers all the same
not wanting my feelings
to hurt,
others around me,
kind in their treatment
of my whiskers, unruly are they
curling, just not like I like,
beginning the wrong place,
ending even wronger,
whiskers,

My new look
a form of rebellion
the world around me
never known, has
itching at times,
trim them,
I’ve threatened,
loved and admired
be they not,

Whiskers, unruly
my newest form
of cool
rebellion….

Posted in Life, Poetry

Revealed

If I revealed to you
my innermost thoughts
dreams, wishes, desires

Would you use
that knowledge

unselfishly,
not considering others
not using that for personal gain
not revealing my secrets
my hopes, fears, dreams
to others

Would you……

Posted in California, Life, Poetry, Prose

The Endless Sky

My mind went dancing
out among the tops of the clouds
climbing while fearing
to know the ground
once again,

The endless sky
greeted
out stretched the waves
the whitecaps of cloud tops
the sullenness of their shadows
threatening greys and blacks

My mind exited
where I was encapsulated
my metal membrane, protecting
shooting stars along the day’s
pathways,
shooting like an arrow, pointing toward
my fate

My usual meadow streets
lie hidden,
the existence that I had known
the paths that crossed mine
the lives being interrupted
by mine,

No one knew of my thoughts
then,
no one chanced a word, no breath
no wonderment, such what I
possessed,
nor felt that I should share

The endless sky
reaching farther than my imagination
could,
my very being, scattered like atoms
joined in the cloud spaces
joined in the mind places

Residing there yet
while my mortal soul, my earthly form
took up residence on mother earth
living life, being who I am
just without

my mind’s landscape
extending along

The endless sky…..

Posted in California, Family, Life, USA

My Special Visit

Dear Little Sister                                                                                       July 4, 2017

As a surprise for you, I’ve decided to travel from Denmark to California in order to join the family in the celebration of your life.

I’ve gathered all of the photos and video clips, any and all papers, and such, so we can have fun remembering how life was, growing up together.

I must admit, I’ve told many others here about you over the past 2 weeks, which is more than I ever have spoken of you before. You know how our communication has been lacking over the last 25 years or so, but last year, when I visited you and the rest of the family, we let bygones be bygones.

I’ve done a lot of writing with your son concerning the visit and the past few weeks. He seems like a fine young man who, under your love and guidance, has grown up into a person that you can easily be proud of.

I’m told that a number of your other friends and family, will also be present to celebrate your life. The greatest thing we possess in this life, are those two things, and my life as well, is enriched by much of the same.

I’ve been meaning to ask you a few things, that have been on my mind over the past 2 weeks or so, but the shortness of my visit might not allow me the pleasure of getting all of those questions answered.

I’ve taken some of the photos with me showing us together, growing up in California. It seems like a million years ago, the last time we were together, but I know that we will always share something special, regardless of where we end up in this life.

I’ve been thinking about contacting you before this trip, but you know how it is with our daily duties, etc.? There is always something that comes in the way, and the unexpected most of all. We can only live our lives, with the knowledge that we put one foot in front of the other, and know that we will get where we are going, some day.

I am not sure, what I can bring you, as you seem to have everything you need. Your husband and your son, a long life to look back on, and the knowledge that something even greater will be waiting for you in the end.

I hope this letter has explained the purpose of my extra-ordinary visit this summer? We can’t control everything in this life, no matter how much we try. Some surprises are good, while others less so.

I hope, you’ll remember, that I am your brother, now and forever, and any/all differences, we’ve had with each other, are now a thing of the past.

Well, gotta run now. I’ve still a few things to pack before my trip tomorrow. Be assured that through the many airports and days until your celebration, I’ll still be thinking of you, and wondering about your life, and how I was a part of it, so many years ago.

Sincerely yours – what? Too formal?

OK. Since it is you,

Love – Your brother

Posted in Life, Poetry, Prose

Having to Admit to

What are my beliefs?
who do I pray to
where am I going to
in the end of all ends?

What tune
will I be playing
when the tambourines
and the trumpets
are sounding, are playing?

Where have I been
who did I help
who helped me
how did I do that?

Where has your journey
led you my son,
have you followed the path
of righteousness, or
did you fall into the den
of iniquity?

So many questions
not enough answers
who do I answer to
after my life recedes
after my life ebbs out?

Realizing the death
admitting to the fact
that growing older
leads only to one thing
leads only to one thought
who am I, and where am I
going?

Who do you pray to
where are you going
how will you attain
how will you eat of the fruits
of eternal salvation
how will you know
if believing is the right thing
if believing has the key
to the door

of eternity…..

Posted in Life, Poetry, Prose

The Time Gone

Where has the time
gone to
where are my thoughts
when I drift off
thinking
that I’ve forgotten something
somewhere,
where are the sunny days
of my youth
the people, I spent time
with
the dreams we had
together,
where are those
that have fallen along
the wayside
have they attained
eternal life
or, are they just gone
gone away for good,
where are my feet taking me
willing, or not
why has my life formed me
in this way, but not that
why are my words filled
with questions, lacking only
question marks?

Posted in Life, Poetry, Prose

Chasing Death

Peek a boo!
playing hide and seek
with death

No, not it’s younger brother
or, aged mother
but death, itself

I’ve wondered about it
my whole long life
when will we meet
just it and I
on a darkened street
in the middle of my vacation
on a lonely road
my eyes tired
and weary, asking
tempting

Have I brushed with it?
some might ask
just once or twice,
but the thought of surviving
my feat of death
suffering through the agony
waiting for death to take its
rightful place,
was not for me
not yet, it seemed

We have danced together
the dance of death
it has been close enough to touch,
but it chose to touch others
near me, instead

Why did it not consult
with me,
ask me why it needed to take
my mother, my father
now my younger sister?
why must I remain,
asking such questions
receiving no answers?

Lurking it does
around the next corner
along the way to where I am going
just behind me, getting nearer

Fickle it is
taking someone next to me
without my knowledge
someone I knew,
someone, I wouldn’t know
anymore,

Not long to go
it might say to me
how long is long?
A long life, a life span
getting longer all the time
will I live to be 100?
will I get the chance to choose?

Death started laughing
without stop
who will choose?
who will die?
who will live, a bit longer
anyway?

We had a good laugh together
death and I
that was funny, I admit
thinking that it was I that was in
control,
thinking that it was I that chose
when my time was up,
over and out, finished, having bought the farm,
or kicked the bucket

So many ways to say it
so many ways to experience it

Is it painful
dying that is?
who do I ask
who can tell me
is it only angelic
listening to the trumpets of heaven
blowing in my ears
listening to the sound of my breathing
growing weaker all the time,
is it just, a walk in the park
a stroll on the moon,
or, soft as a baby’s bottom

will I smile inside
will I welcome the change of pace
the change of venue
the end of all ends?

Silly of me, isn’t it
questioning death like this?
most would choose to avoid
the most important subject
in their lives
most would choose to ignore
to scoff, to drive the fastest cars,
and love the most beautiful women,
dare to walk tightrope over the Grand Canyon
or, jump out of an airplane, waiting
waiting to pull the cord
so close to the ground
to touch it

I guess, it’s better to take a stroll
no need to hurry here
no need to chase the inevitable, or
go looking for it,

It most likely will find me in the end
something as certain as taxes

and death…..