Just Sitting

Just sitting
on your meadow step
wanting only your sunshine
to brighten up my day,

While the birds were singing
and the gentle breezes cooling
you were not present
to enjoy this moment in my life,

I would like to say
that you’d filled all of my dreams
awake, or nighttime halls
the thoughts that drifted through my mind
while I thought of someone else,

but that would place me
possessing an untruth, a feeble attempt
to woo you towards my needing heart
the someone that is you,

I sat upon your meadow step
not expecting you to sit beside me
just enjoying the warmth of the sun
upon my face, caressing my skin,
bringing me to the edge of ecstasy
drowning me in the pool of desire,

When looking out away from that place
that moment in time, my short of breath
my thoughts fluttering, like birds singing
and waters flowing, the warmth of the sun
shining down upon me
-as if you were above me,
-as if you were existing,

Sitting close enough to touch your skin
along the meadow paths, with bees buzzing
and waters meandering, along towards
the course chosen, tried and true
the waters reflecting, the you

Not moving from my sunny step
nor wanting to leave anytime soon
just enjoying the thought turned reality
the thought that was you…..

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If I Want To

I will cry
if I want to
why do people look
aghast at that?

I will deny all hatred
If I want to
there are people who
will fight anyone else
just for the sake
of saying, they are right,

I will dream my dreams
If I want to
and no one else has the right
to say that I am wrong,

I will shout at injustice
if I want to,
stop the killings, stop the crimes
I will shout until I lose my voice
if no one else will shout with me,

I will tell someone, they are great
if I want to
everyone needs encouragement
if no one else tells them, how
how will they know?

I will write, these many words
if I want to,
anyone who reads them,
anyone who disagrees,
anyone who likes what they see,
anyone who doesn’t understand
anyone who doesn’t want to
understand,

Anyone is allowed to do those things
if they want to

As long as
they don’t hurt me, you, anyone else
in the process

If they want to…

Someone to Blame

Everyone needs someone to blame. I’m not saying  that this is  a necessity, but it does tend to crop up, even in the best of us.

As an example: Yesterday, I needed to remove a bush that was growing in the wrong spot after having done some changes in my garden. I dug and cursed, then I managed to break the shaft of the shovel in the process. With no one else about, I yelled at the dog. He only looked at me as if it concerned food or walking, but took no notice of it otherwise.

Silly fool. I then apologized to him, telling him what he already knew – that it was not his fault anyway.

My shovel was still broken and the bush was still firmly rooted to the ground. So what did I learn from this incident?

Another example: A co-worker of mine, actually 2 of them have stopped recently. One by choice and not. With them gone, the workload has increased with numerous errors showing up concerning untreated customer complaints, and other unfinished business items. Who is to blame? Well, they are of course. They didn’t manage to train the rest of us, nor did they complete the assignments that would still be ongoing even though they had moved on.

Is there a statue of limitations, I do wonder?

My most current example is my own procrastination. I have accomplished a few things while enjoying a week off from work, but the tasks that require more work and concentration, are sadly, still lacking in my otherwise non-busy schedule. Who am I to blame this time?…..

I hate it, when I have to accept the blame for my own shortcomings. Why couldn’t I have been better to do those things? Why wasn’t my dog willing to take the blame for yet another thing that he didn’t do?

I guess, I could stop writing this blog, and get to getting! There must be something that needs doing, other than what should be doing?

You see. There are always ways out of this kind of predicament. I might start by making a list of things to do, with the  most important ones on top.

Or, I can still make the list, while leaving out the nasty, undone tasks, and just pretend as if they never existed in the first place!

I love being in charge of my life….

Blatant Loneliness

I ask myself, what is loneliness?

I’d like to think of blogging as a way to define the loneliness in my life. I am surrounded by my family, my co-workers and the rest of society, but I still feel a twang of being alone.

Expressing oneself by blogging is a way to tell the world, “Hey. I’m out there, somewhere. Look at me”. The results can be obvious with “liking”, or less personal with “reading”. If you are into comments then you could encourage them, but they start to dig deeper into your psyche. They might become too personal, or challenging to accept, but there are other ways out of them. Just choose not to approve them.

Are you lonely in your life? It’s ok if you don’t answer, because others might point fingers at you, telling you how rich your life is, and that they love and care for you, but…

I accept my feelings of loneliness. There are just some things about living that cannot be cured, no matter how much some of us try. I find solace in a touch of melancholy. It helps me to write, which in turn connects me with the rest of the world, making me feel less lonely again.

Until the next time…..

Have a Little

Down in the dumps?
Life a mess, well look at me
look around, others nodding
don’t worry
The sun is still shining
above the clouds
the blue sky is still there
somewhere,

Personal life, what is that?
Let me tell you my story
one of highs and lows
running away, want to
but I want sometimes too…..

Have a little faith
in yourself, like I do
I know that you’ll find
a way, sometimes
the right way,
sometimes a middle way
a temporary way, until

Have a little faith
think about tomorrow,
what can that bring?
a new set of smiles, or
the reverse, the sun is out
rain on the way, look around you
who would admit they were happy
always?

Ups and downs, what life presents
sometimes flying high, swooping low
hitting the tops of trees
hitting the ground,

Pick yourself up
dust off, look up
Wow, what a blue sky concept
and you were there,
and I am here

And I know
that you will survive

I know..

The Gathering

We gather together
ostensibly to celebrate
each other
in reality, though
to celebrate life
it is

We remind ourselves
our mortality calls out
not being revoked,
nor forgotten
entirely,

We gather together
to eat, to talk
enjoy the moments
this life has to give
we speak of the time gone
we speak of the time to come

We enjoy the moments
together as one,

I remind myself
more often as not
as much as I wish
as much as I want
immortal to be
immortal as not,

The gathering
the accomplishment of our lives
the realization of not being alone
while the earth continues to turn

While the seasons of our lives
continue to turn

continue to turn

The Stone Bridge

Pausing
as she considered
her options
going back, or
going forward

The past called out
it seemed so familiar
warm and inviting
but with its hidden
agendas

She paused again
the stone bridge assuming
the guise of strength
the facade of maturity

The past called again
“come back, come back”
the way seemed foggy
unclear signals, unfinished business

Crossing over
or, resting a while
the rough stones, smoothed
as she watched the waters
beneath,

Going forward, going back
never an easy choice
life and its difficulties
what mother never taught
what mother hesitated to tell,

Passing by
the stone bridge
standing strong in the sunlight
not moving forwards, nor back
a monument of willpower
decisions made, not to be changed,

The waters beneath
flowed onward
as well….

Mind Reader

You don’t need to be
a mind reader, if

You listen to someone
instead of talking
try to understand,
comment when needed
encourage with a smile

You don’t need to think
that I can read your mind
just because I am good
at guessing

what you are thinking

I really am not a
Mind Reader
just someone who cares,
and is willing to support you
without judging, or
taking sides

Just someone who cares
about someone like you

A Small Voice

The smallest
of sounds
a voice, small
speaking softly

A ray of sunshine
warming the coldest
of thoughts
the light illuminating
where no light was
just a minute before

An idea
a thought widening
expanding, ripples then
a wave, complete

A small voice, speaking
whispering
enlightening, teaching
the patient thought
of something better to come,

The sounds reach
me first, then reflecting outwards
to others around me,

A small voice
telling me

That hope for a better day
still exists….

The Seasons

Every year
Every season

The summer comes
The summer goes

Orion the Hunter appears
brightly in these October Skies

The summer gone
The winter approaches

Every winter, I think
about the summer past
the winter nights are cold and inhospitable
the summer nights are warm and inviting

The winter comes
The winter goes

Orion the Hunter fades
in the early morning skies
telling me, warning me
that summer approaches
again

So many seasons
the time, not thought about
at the time, it occurs
another summer giving way
another winter approaches

My life, My seasons
passing time, passing away
never really registering
never being able to accept

This life passing away

I wait for Orion the Hunter
every year, every winter

I wait for the stars of summer
every year, every year

Time passes
while I grow older
not thinking the same thoughts
not thinking that this life has no end

My life
My seasons
Time passing by me
while I
pass by it

The Seasons
of My Life