Someone to Blame

Everyone needs someone to blame. I’m not saying  that this is  a necessity, but it does tend to crop up, even in the best of us.

As an example: Yesterday, I needed to remove a bush that was growing in the wrong spot after having done some changes in my garden. I dug and cursed, then I managed to break the shaft of the shovel in the process. With no one else about, I yelled at the dog. He only looked at me as if it concerned food or walking, but took no notice of it otherwise.

Silly fool. I then apologized to him, telling him what he already knew – that it was not his fault anyway.

My shovel was still broken and the bush was still firmly rooted to the ground. So what did I learn from this incident?

Another example: A co-worker of mine, actually 2 of them have stopped recently. One by choice and not. With them gone, the workload has increased with numerous errors showing up concerning untreated customer complaints, and other unfinished business items. Who is to blame? Well, they are of course. They didn’t manage to train the rest of us, nor did they complete the assignments that would still be ongoing even though they had moved on.

Is there a statue of limitations, I do wonder?

My most current example is my own procrastination. I have accomplished a few things while enjoying a week off from work, but the tasks that require more work and concentration, are sadly, still lacking in my otherwise non-busy schedule. Who am I to blame this time?…..

I hate it, when I have to accept the blame for my own shortcomings. Why couldn’t I have been better to do those things? Why wasn’t my dog willing to take the blame for yet another thing that he didn’t do?

I guess, I could stop writing this blog, and get to getting! There must be something that needs doing, other than what should be doing?

You see. There are always ways out of this kind of predicament. I might start by making a list of things to do, with the  most important ones on top.

Or, I can still make the list, while leaving out the nasty, undone tasks, and just pretend as if they never existed in the first place!

I love being in charge of my life….

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Blatant Loneliness

I ask myself, what is loneliness?

I’d like to think of blogging as a way to define the loneliness in my life. I am surrounded by my family, my co-workers and the rest of society, but I still feel a twang of being alone.

Expressing oneself by blogging is a way to tell the world, “Hey. I’m out there, somewhere. Look at me”. The results can be obvious with “liking”, or less personal with “reading”. If you are into comments then you could encourage them, but they start to dig deeper into your psyche. They might become too personal, or challenging to accept, but there are other ways out of them. Just choose not to approve them.

Are you lonely in your life? It’s ok if you don’t answer, because others might point fingers at you, telling you how rich your life is, and that they love and care for you, but…

I accept my feelings of loneliness. There are just some things about living that cannot be cured, no matter how much some of us try. I find solace in a touch of melancholy. It helps me to write, which in turn connects me with the rest of the world, making me feel less lonely again.

Until the next time…..

Have a Little

Down in the dumps?
Life a mess, well look at me
look around, others nodding
don’t worry
The sun is still shining
above the clouds
the blue sky is still there
somewhere,

Personal life, what is that?
Let me tell you my story
one of highs and lows
running away, want to
but I want sometimes too…..

Have a little faith
in yourself, like I do
I know that you’ll find
a way, sometimes
the right way,
sometimes a middle way
a temporary way, until

Have a little faith
think about tomorrow,
what can that bring?
a new set of smiles, or
the reverse, the sun is out
rain on the way, look around you
who would admit they were happy
always?

Ups and downs, what life presents
sometimes flying high, swooping low
hitting the tops of trees
hitting the ground,

Pick yourself up
dust off, look up
Wow, what a blue sky concept
and you were there,
and I am here

And I know
that you will survive

I know..

Doubtful Intentions

We both wanted you,
he did so
to keep you from others
like me, but I

Were my intentions more grand
more pure than his would ever be?

He wanted you for himself
a trophy
someone to brag about
to say that you two were
an item
a happening
a life together

I wanted you for you
but my intentions were cloudy
and hidden
I wanted to capture your feelings
from him
I wanted to have to hold
but my intentions seemed doubtful
at best,

Which of the two was the best?
who would desire you most
for that what you were, instead of
what they/we wanted for us
for us,

The point being moot
as he has you still
I have the thought of something
else

but what would you want
who would you choose?

Mind Reader

You don’t need to be
a mind reader, if

You listen to someone
instead of talking
try to understand,
comment when needed
encourage with a smile

You don’t need to think
that I can read your mind
just because I am good
at guessing

what you are thinking

I really am not a
Mind Reader
just someone who cares,
and is willing to support you
without judging, or
taking sides

Just someone who cares
about someone like you

A Small Voice

The smallest
of sounds
a voice, small
speaking softly

A ray of sunshine
warming the coldest
of thoughts
the light illuminating
where no light was
just a minute before

An idea
a thought widening
expanding, ripples then
a wave, complete

A small voice, speaking
whispering
enlightening, teaching
the patient thought
of something better to come,

The sounds reach
me first, then reflecting outwards
to others around me,

A small voice
telling me

That hope for a better day
still exists….

Beginnings, Endings

I am told of how I began
this life, living, breathing
Of this, remember I do not
but the mere fact of me being
existing, thinking, seems
to confirm this fact,
When I am no more
will I know it? will I know of the end?
If the beginning has no memory
will the ending be the same?
Is it better to have the ones I love
the ones who love me, present?
Or will they only forget
to remember, who I am
who I was?
Existing in this time frame
right now, being alone at this moment
I might just exist as someone
who I once knew, who I once had been

Beginnings, Endings
one in the same
never the one, nor the other
never being
never leaving…

Along a Road

Walking along a road
with stones lining the way
and stones being the road,
I daresay

Stones, crunching
my morning repast
with flavors of metamorphic
and plutonic,
but lacking volcanic

Oh, how I miss
a good think
about Pluto
and the River Styx
and the stones in his river,

Stones in the River
glistening, shiny
smooth as a baby’s
bottom
slippery when wet
enjoy them while so
upon my road, be they
boring, stones
just,

Skipping stones
killing time
one, two, five
step on a crack
break my mother’s
back,
not with stones, though
not with stones,

Large stones, become
smaller yet
time eats, crunches
my stones
turning them into sand
my sandy road, reflecting
the stones I once knew

When I wasn’t killing
time…

To Those Who Call Themselves, Poets

A poet, I am not
a writer of small stories,
bits and pieces of my imagination
spilled upon virtual paper,
be I,
You may think of me as someone
who writes in that direction
along the edges, the fringe reality
the modest, easily read prose
stumbling in the dark, while the poets
the true poets dream around me,
I salute you,
my sisters and brothers in arms
you, who understand, wanting to be
calling yourselves, Poets
but I
lack the correct word,
for what I might call
myself….

Lies becoming truths

I know
that truths can be to
lies, but is the same true
the other way around?

If I lie to myself
about how I really feel
about someone I know
will it catch up with me
turning itself into the truth
in the end?

That’s how it is with lies
rolling around, causing distress
never being able to call themselves
worthy, of being trusted again

If my lie becomes a truth
could I ever trust myself again?
would I be able to convince myself
that the feelings that I harbor
really are real?

Accepting the truth
is almost as hard as stomaching
a lie,
They are both sides of the same
coin, you see

Flip it, and wish!

I wish, I had told her the truth
in the first place….

Instead of lying to myself,
thinking that it would never be…