Norwegian Humor

Seen in Southern Norway. 2015.

DSCN1323 kontrast

Meteorological Stone

Warm stone = Sunny

Wet stone = Rain

White stone =Snow

No stone = Fog

One good reason to visit Norway. Your choice….



img849 orton

I might just be rocking and rolling

when I finally

my maturity, reach


So watch out!

you don’t get your toes

rocked upon


Rock on….

Rocking Chair. John Muir National Historic Site. Martinez, California. 1979.


The other day
I developed a bad case
of Blog Burn,
The doctors in Denmark
scratched their heads
then their beards,
then they drank a cup of coffee,
or two, or three more,
and asked someone else to look at me,
but there was a 6-month waiting list
and I was afraid of losing
my mind, while my Blog Burn faded
making me the laughing stock
of the medical community

The other day
while I was wearing my Blog Shades
and my Blog Sunblock
I wondered if others like me
were afflicted in their pursuit
of taking a walk down the Blog Side?

Watch out for Blog Burn
it is no laughing matter,
I would speak out
on the behalf of others,
my voice regaling the millions of others
who were similarly afflicted
but it might hurt my chances
of luring more followers
on the premise of reading about,
of some completely
less than honest,
not to be trusted
almost certainly a lie,

Affliction that I
from time to time
suffer from

Blog Burn “Out….”



A dream I had
me running,

Being chased

or, was it nudged?

by someone
bearing, wearing
Caribou Antlers,

I wonder who
and why
I had done
my dreaming
in the right place
at the wrong time?

Upon awakening
shaking off the night
and its interpretations
of things,
I never thought about
in my waking state,

in telling the world
now, and forever
that my dream being only
an excuse for writing
these few words
telling about
the Caribou

and its

being rather
sharp and pointy….


Wanted: Problem Solver


In response to your advertisement, I would like to present you with my qualifications:

1. Ability to keep a cool head, in the most heated exchanges

2. Willingness to step between the two arguing parties, keeping a neutral stance at all times.

3. Applying the suggestion that newly baked cookies and strong coffee/tea will have a calming effect on heated tempers

4. Ability to calm people down by singing a soft lullaby, while holding their hands and stroking their hair

5. If nothing else seems to work, then use of force, in limited ways, tends to help calm the wild beast in others

6. Always ready with a supply of moving boxes, if the other part decides to move out with little notice.

7. Willingness to take your side, tell you how fabulous you look, and how I’ve always been certain that he was no good for you

8. Assuring you that we are good for each other, and that I will love and respect your feelings as long as we are together

9. Reserving the right to fall down upon my knee and presenting you with a ring, a bouquet of flowers and a “rent-a-preacher” if we feel the time to be right

10. Renewed force will be exerted if he tries to break down the front door to assure you of his renewed love. I will help you to fill out the forms for restraining order, when the time comes.

I’ve submitted my application in triplicate, including one by e-mail, and posting my intentions on your Facebook page.

If any of the above points are unclear, then please drop me a line, or better yet, use the return form with an equal number of answers.

I look forward to a continued life with you……


Part Number 56

Descriptions and instructions concerning part number 56*.

Part number 56 is described as being rather obtuse, or rather rounded on the free end. It has proven easy to work with, but does present some difficulties when its applications involve women. These difficulties do not restrict its usage, but it might become unstable, or unusable in certain applications.

Restrictive Countries/Areas:

Part number 56  has been banned for use in certain areas of Southern Québec.  The reasons for this have been well-documented, but some persist on tempting fate in this region.

Its use in Alaska has never been tried, but all possibilities are open, if need be.

Its most positive applications seem to be in Great Britain, but again not everything is always as it seems at face value.

In the beginning, part number 56 is described as rather brownish, but tends to lighten in color with age. It is easy to use, but tends to be rather pesky at times, not doing what others thought it was intended for, but doing so all the same.

Part number 56 is not expensive in daily use, thus making it attractive to those who wish to save time and money by using it. The most challenging part is in how to obtain it in the first place. It is not readily available to those that have discovered it later in life, and might prove to be unattainable, regardless of what the asking price is.

Part number 56 remains a mystery to some, which shows its resiliency throughout its lifespan. It is always changing, while remaining the same. Some might consider this to be a good trait, while others would most likely do better with parts of a younger character.

*If part number 56 is not available in your country/region then you might just have to  Google a new response…..



Banana Tree Umbrella

The first one says, “My banana tree doesn’t give much shade”.
The other one replied, “Maybe your bananas are too big”

The first one replied, “That sounds like an off-color joke. Pardon me ma’am, but your bananas are taking the light from my vegetable garden”.

The other one said, “Your bananas, her bananas. and me here with a measly Kumquat”.

The first one said, “If only I had a banana tree umbrella. The envy of my friends. Sitting there, an Elephant Toothpick in the one hand, and a Banana Daiquiri in the other, while she provided me shade in a most eloquent way!”

The other one replied, “I think you are mixing up your fantasies. Get a grip. What is most important? Shade from a respectable Banana Tree, or the doubtful love of a woman, who will be shading you the one moment, then trimming your leaves the other. Sounds like a conflict of interest to me”.

The first one said, “Too bad. I thought she was the right Shade-Temptress for me. Oh no! I think, I’m getting a Banana Burn on my nose”!

The other one replied, “That’s always how the story ends, isn’t it? Losing the girl, getting burned, and nothing else to show for it then a drink in the hand tasting only of her bitter love…….



  1. Read all instructions before proceeding
  2. Check the list of parts making sure everything is included
  3. If in doubt, call the support line listed on the bottom of the page
  4. Alcohol may be used, if one is over the legal drinking age
  5. Four hands can be better than two, so ask for assistance if need be
  6. If a ladder is to be used, remember the top step might not support your weight
  7. Any parts that fall on the floor must be picked up, before you can continue
  8. Support may be required, if your assistant complains about the hardness of the flooring,
  9. With use of excessive alcohol consumption, objects might appear unclear in the side-view mirror.
  10. Remember not to drive your car, if alcohol has impaired your vision
  11. If the telephone rings while you are involved in this process, consider carefully what you will be saying to the person on the other end of the line
  12. A period of rest in-between parts 5 and 6 might help to gather your strength back
  13. Additional help might be required after step 7. Ask for assistance, if your ladder cannot stand upright again,
  14. When your reach step 10, you’ll need to find part number 45b. This will enable you to complete the project, without experiencing any further delay in pursuit of success
  15. It is customary in some circles to celebrate the completion of this project by smoking a cigarette, or toasting your helper with additional alcohol.
  16. Congratulations!
  17. If, however, completion was not attained, you’ll need to consult step number 5 again, using the principle that 6 hands are better than 4!


I bet you thought, you’d never have gotten this far without help, did you………….


Elephant Toothpicks

“I’ve been thinking” said the one
“What about?”, said the other

“Willow branches and freezing weather.”

“Sounds like a plan”, said the other,
“but what about them?”

“Willows bend, you know? What if fingers
do the same?”

“Brrrr”, the other one said,
“my fingers feel like toothpicks
I don’t think they’ll bend as much
as willow branches, but what the heck,
might as well try it,
otherwise, we’ll never know”

“Hey. It doesn’t even hurt to bend my fingers.
oh, oh, oh. uh oh.”

“It snapped right off!, Does it hurt?” asked the other.

“Nope. Not a bit”, said the one. “It’s way too cold for that. You wanna try it too?”

“Uh. Maybe another day. Too much of a good thing,
you know?”

“If we had others, we could sell them as Elephant Toothpicks!
said the one.”

-“Uh. Just one other thing, said the other. “I’d maybe put a cloth on it
when the winter thaws again. Just to be sure.”

“OK by me. What shall we try tomorrow?” said the one

“What about, how flexible noses are?” said the other.

“Whose should we test tomorrow, yours?” said the one

“No. I’ve always thought yours was too long anyways”

“Yeah. Maybe, you are right. And tomorrow is a new day, isn’t it?”

“Yep, said the other. It sure is……”

*written with Little Fears in mind. Just so you know…..*



I’d like to thank
who I’ve stepped
degraded to get
where I am today,
not considering the feelings
of others,
wanting only
what I can get, attain
what accolades that will befall
me, only me,
the hearts that I’ve
the promises that I’ve
everyone who thought
I was a nice guy
but found out
the reverse was true,

I accept this award
my humbleness
and gratitude
with all of my