…….while I was deeply involved with my latest issue of Poultry Times, the wife yelled into the window. I felt that she did that way too often, which gave credence to the rumors circulating around town that I was indeed Henpecked. I tried to ignore her, when the Cluck Alarm sounded, making my day even more troublesome than before.
I took my Chicken Dog outside to the barn, where I found……..
……but she told me before, that was the most comfortable dress for her and her shapely form. I suggested we drop everything else, and throw caution to the winds, but speaking of which, a fowl smell came from the direction of the septic tank, which seemed to take our thoughts of love-making to a neutral corner, where the fighters had removed their gloves and were playing pinochle, while the sewer guy tried to flush out the system once and for all…….
……you know how I’ve told you before how I liked my Cluckers to form a straight line, but chickens being what they are, seemed to defy me at every turn. I rolled up my sleeves and said…….
…….but it was not the most compromising position, I’d ever caught her in. There was the time when the Donut Delivery Man came around and tried to interest her in cream-filled donuts. She had read between the lines, which I tried to do every time, I read the Poultry Times, but we just didn’t see eye to eye. Not with my Cluckers anyway, or I would have to be crawling around in the dust to do so. “Honey” she told me, “the truth of the matter is, that I have been…….”
….which was a lot to swallow, her story that is, which made me open the window again, as the day had heated up to the boiling point, when she had modeled her new mu-mu for me. What withe tropical flowers on her dress, and thoughts of trying to experience the Blue-Light Special at K-Mart again, she drew me close to her. Close enough to smell the Vick’s Vapo-rub, which she knew would drive me into the greatest ecstasy, when the Cluck Alarm sounded again!…..
……. it was an awful pain in my left foot having shot off my little toe, but that was not the worst of it. The blast had scattered my birds in every direction, and while the Chicken Dog pointed, I caught a glimpse of the Donut Man, sliding down the rain pipe just outside our bedroom. I’d heard of home delivery before, but this was way beyond what I had expected……
….but I’ll have to finish this story later Mom, because the Ambulance People are about to shoot a tranquilizing dart into me, before I get my sights aimed at the Donut Man, and his cream-filled donuts….
Your Son, the Chicken Farmer