Posted in Family, Prose

Being Here

The difference
between being here
and being gone,
a matter of moments
might be,
A feeling of something
wrong,
a sudden gasp, a cry
then unconsciousness,
“If only, she had been alone”
the doctor said,
“If only, she had been alone,
we wouldn’t have had to make
decisions, that hurt
making them”
Being here
just a moment ago
getting ready to do
the usual thing,
Being here
together with you
just a normal day,
not normal, at all
it seems,
“She was here
just a moment ago
we spoke, we laughed”
Being here
just not in a state
of consciousness
Being here
for all intents and purposes
just not knowing exactly
where that is?
Everyone present, almost
hearing about you
Everyone talking,
encouraging
you,
to wake up
encouraging you
to be here, again
among the living
the talk, the laughter
just a normal day
not normal, at all
it seems,
Decisions are made
hard ones
choices that aren’t equaled
choices that aren’t pleasant
to think about,
If only, you had been here
If only, you had made your voice
known,
those decisions would have been
easier,
those decisions would have made
more sense,
Being here
together with you
while you are
being gone,
No signs of recognition
no smiles, nor laughter
no sense of the you
being here,
just a moment ago
you were
here,
together with us

just a moment ago…

Posted in California, Family, Life, Prose

We Were Just Talking

The other day
the other year
40 years ago
or so,
We were laughing about
or, were we just talking
about
my memory fades
and tricks me
you know?
We were playing
when we were kids
up in the mountains
at the ocean
we were just playing
when we were younger,
You are not very
talkative
lying there, while I speak
lying there, dreaming
in your sleep,
We were just together
the other day, it seems
we were talking about
what I can’t remember now
We were together,
when mom went away
all those years ago
just talking, were we,
The other day
when you chose to go away
caught me unawares
and me being
so many hours away
being so many thoughts
away,
I was just talking to you
when the machines were turned
off,
You were just there
looking so peaceful, waiting
waiting for someone,
waiting for someone
to take you home,
I’ll sit here
just a bit longer
looking at you
as if we were kids again,
40, no 50 years ago
saying something
We were just playing
and talking like we did,
we were just saying,
telling a story,
You were smiling then,
like you are smiling now,
and I,
am hovering over you
even though
we are only speaking
in my mind,

As if we were kids again
playing some silly game
with mom calling us home

Calling us home….

Posted in Dogs, Family, Poetry, Prose

Building an Outside House

I’ve been hitting screws
and screwing nails
painting glass,
and yelling at someone
who looks like me
just on my good days

Building a house
a room with a roof
bring the inside, outside
or the outside in?

Building and wondering
who will judge, who will laugh?
building, hammering, sawing
nailing without nails, painting
well, painting with ugly colors
painting my fingers, and clothes
my dog and his toes
do dogs have toes?

I’ve put on a roof
one that leaks
one that shakes
and a floor that creaks
and walls that are glass
and stones thrown about
and dogs with painted toes,
if dogs have toes?

A picture?
Hah!
Might as well get
a haircut first
cutting off the paint
hiding my thumbnails, black
hiding my intentions
inside the outside

My family
ready to move in
sofa, Internet,
bar stools, dog bed

I am on the inside
looking out to the inside
out,
we are waving to each other
while I am drinking a beer,
enjoying my inside
while they enjoy their outside
in,

If you wish
to know how
building an outside, inside
outside of my house,
inside room, without plans
using crooked wood,
and ugly paint,

I won’t tell you
I won’t

I wouldn’t deny you
all the fun that I’ve had

Drinking my beer,
looking out to the in
side of things

Out there….

Somewhere…

Posted in California, Family, Poetry, Prose

Screaming Bloody Murder

Is what my mother said,
every time we raised our voices,

what the neighbors would think about that
what the doctor would say about dirty underwear
why the dinner was ready in 2 shakes of a lamb’s tail
and why we needed to sit on the davenport

phrases, which my mother felt obliged to use
but not me,

I use my own, time-worn phrases
to which my children
only sigh, and roll their eyes,

just like I did,
when I was
their age….

Posted in Family, Life, Prose

A Slice of Humble Pie

One to sink my teeth into

My daughter lost something
the usual story ensued

Not her fault, but others
we looked, and looked

Finally finding, what we sought
being in my possession

The pie tasted delicious
according to my daughter

-and I went hungry
with that thought

in mind….

Posted in Dogs, Family, Humor

I Asked My Dog

Seeing as how today, a day when we were alone, just he and I, what we should eat on that occasion?

I suggested a tortilla, filled with cheese, which he was not adverse to, but then being a dog of means, then food was food, but

Then I decided to cast danger to the wind, and suggest that in addition, we could put some Kale in said tortilla, which made him quiet. As quiet can be.

Alone was I not entirely, as my 2 teenage children were milling about, lost in their ways, of being teenagers and such, but not enough, caring to join my dog and I, in wondering if Kale would indeed be something to write home about?

The wife was out and about, not eating Kale Tortillas, nor pondering what the teenage children were wondering, lost in their Cell Phone worlds, not wondering at all about the rest of us. And there was material to be purchased, in which I asked most foolishly, is there something you need? No, yes was the answer, as material always can be used, and the saving of money by buying it, now was most prudent.

Just not as prudent as wanting to eat my cheese and Kale tortilla, and the dog, waiting patiently, for a morsel or two, to fall his way, and seeing as how, he agreed completely and without reservation that Kale was indeed a most delicious addition!

My thoughts foolishly dwelt upon something, which I too could justify in purchasing, a power supply to my computer. Had I such a beast, no and not then either, but thinking that the rest of the PC would come, if I called it forth by having purchased a power supply, without having anything else at all. And that power supply is languishing about, never having had a PC to power, and I with egg on my face, due to using money for something that I did not have a use for, like material, but convinced myself of its need all the same.

Down went the Kale tortilla, as my dog, faithful in his waiting, for a morsel, or two, which should almost have been the whole tortilla, Kale and all, due to my writing ponderings, which have only left him the hungrier, indeed!

It would have been tastier, if I hadn’t wasted time on writing this blog, and my dog, faithful would have been sleeping already, with portions of my Kale tortilla sleeping as well, in his stomach…

 

Posted in Family, Humor, Life, Relationships

Clothes Make the Man!

but…

You see. I didn’t put the “but” in the title, but I considered doing so.

I wish, someone had told me the following things, before I moved to Denmark:

  1. socks must be the same/equal color of shirt at social functions
  2. your spouse will not think of you as special with the ensuing years
  3. your favorite clothing won’t be your wife’s favorite
  4. breaking wind, even at home, becomes less acceptable with time

I’ll take the one with socks first. Here is the scenario: I/we are attending a social function, in which I choose clothing for myself, even though my jacket, shirt and freshly-pressed pants are hanging on the closet door, without my prior knowledge.

“The socks must match your shirt. Why? Because”

As you can see, we are not on the same wavelength. My argument is that when we arrive, we are standing up with our socks not visible. Then we are seated – again, no visible socks. Then as the evening progresses, most of the guests are involved with drinking and telling lies about each other to bother with my mismatched mania! I might be wrong. What happens in the lady’s powder room is unknown to me, but might be something like,”OMG. Did you see his socks! Why are they still together?

That might be the reason for that rule, but then, I’m only guessing?

I’ll just skip number 2 for now, and hasten onward to number 3. Favorite Clothing.

Look at this photo:

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One is the accepted cap, and the other being my favorite cap. There should be no doubt in the minds of my female readers, and perhaps some style-conscious men, but there is a difference between the two.

Why worry when walking the dog, in the dark, in the Winter, when most people, like my wife, would be back inside the house perusing Pinterest! It is warm, and reminds me of my father, who gave it to me back around 35 years or so. I even think it represents some fertilizer or fungicide product, which probably has been made illegal by the EPA, or someone like that?

Number 4 has to do with breaking wind. Just think if you were on a date, or had just started using the L-word with someone special. Some of you have your hands up, and I can assume the question concerns dating, even if you are married, and not thinking of your significant other at that point in time? Don’t  worry. I am not here to judge you, but I’d watch out if she sends you text messages, and your wife casually looks at your cellphone, while you are emptying the trash! Think about the embarrassment of breaking wind on your date. At home it shouldn’t matter, because your spouse knows you and your silly habits, and should be used to you by now? You would think so, but take it from an old married guy like me, don’t ever try to second-guess women on that one!

What about number 2? My advice is to forget it. You won’t change how she thinks anyways, and accepting it is easier than arguing about it!

“What should we do today, Dear?” – The laundry and cleaning the toilet!

Togetherness is grand, isn’t it, but don’t think that you are appreciated by doing household chores, as they are just accepted forms of married life.

If I were a trouble-maker, I’d break some wind, then put on my mismatched socks and favorite cap and disappear into the night…..

Don’t worry, I’ll be back. The dog just needed to perform some socially accepted behavior – just for dogs….

 

Posted in Cooking, Denmark, Dogs, Family

Vacation Plans

One week of vacation.

  • clean the kitchen
  • walk the dog
  • straighten out the house
  • write a blog or two
  • walk the dog
  • drink some coffee, dark roast from Canada
  • cook, clean and walk the dog
  • shop for food, to make the meals
  • clean the kitchen again
  • walk the dog
  • empty the trash, and my mind
  • empty/fill the dishwasher
  • don’t/do think about work
  • think about walking the dog, then do so

If only, I had 2 weeks of vacation, then I could do so much more….

  • like walk the dog
Posted in Denmark, Family, Humor

Fantasy Carrot Cake -Obsessed!

A  lot of people that I know….All right all of them, think that I am a bit on the different side. That is the nice way to put it, since there is no medical evidence to the contrary.

Today, my fantasy journey is taking me along the Cake Walk, without the music. Carrot Cake has been my favorite for as long as I can remember, and if you’ve ever met my memory before, then you know, you’re in for a long trip. My wife doesn’t appreciate me correcting her Danish grammar, because I learned all of those grammatical rules, and remembered them as well, when I learned how to speak Danish over 24 years ago, which usually causes her to tell me that my memory is Træls, or Danish for Lousy!

Never mind.

My carrot cakes have evolved from the classic type to one which doesn’t resemble the first one, other than in the name. While I fantasize about Carrot Cake, my dog is playing with his balls on the floor, which boys seem to like to do, but I don’t have time for such frivolities today.

When I decided to start experimenting with cooking, it just happened to come at the same time when my wife went down with Stress, and couldn’t do much of anything. I took over the buying, cooking, cleaning and whatever, until she felt that “enough was enough” and hit me over the head with her soup ladle!

I chose carrot cake, which always had been my favorite, but didn’t like how the recipe called for using so much oil, and other unhealthy things, so I went the Vegan way. Stop with that  now! I’ve said before that I am not a card-carrying member of that club, and I most likely use soy sauce which is make from fish! I haven’t been chased down the street by my neighbors, nor have I been excluded from writing Fantasy cake blogs, but you never know?

I found a nice-sounding recipe, or two, or three on the Internet, then changed it/them to my liking.

The approximate ingredients are listed here, otherwise I’ll just make them up as I go:

flour

carrots

apple sauce – fresh made using apples, and water

sugar

baking this or that. Soda or powder? Sometimes the one, or both, but definitely one of them

eggs

The ingredients are mixed together, but not at the same time, or place. I prefer to take a short drive to the IKEA parking lot, and use my handy dandy wooden wire whip to mix the wet ingredients, while the dry ones wait their turn at home. It says in the instructions to mix the wet and the dry separately, so I wouldn’t want to step on toes, or get hit in the stomach, unless she was really pretty and intelligent, and her boyfriend didn’t treat her as well, as I felt he should!

But I digress.

I’m pretty sure there also was salt and vanilla extract, but those details will probably  fall  into place after the cake has  started to bake, and it is too late to save it with my extract!

The frosting uses vanilla again, powdered sugar, butter and cream cheese. Don’t worry about mixing the ingredients separately as the sugar part is tricky enough as it is. Don’t use too much dry in the wet, or vice versa, which is something my mother could have told me, instead of watching out for women with fast cars, or was it fast women with slow cars? It doesn’t matter, but you will be sad if you think that you can save the day by adding more sugar, because your boy/girlfriend says so!

The cake should have been placed in the oven at 175 degrees Celsius, or 350 Fahrenheit, which are guesses on my part, with this being a Fantasy Blog. While baking the kitchen is filled with memories of a distant time, when Mom used to wear her baking mittens, and Dad was hiding in his office, looking at Patent Draftsmen Monthly. He never let me look at his magazines, because he said that they were only for consenting adults, but my Mother never admitted to being one of them, so that might be why he kept them to himself?

I can see that all of this baking business has caused me to drift back to my childhood, when Mom and Dad would avoid each other all all costs, and I would play with my toys in my room. Where was I? Oh yeah.

Carrot Cake.

The addition of apple sauce makes the cake more spongy, with that effect being more obvious the next day or so. With the addition of the frosting you’ll find yourself at a crossroads of sorts.: Frosting on – in the Fridge, Frosting off – in the oven. If you are into naked cakes, then by all means store the cake where you desire. It might even turn into a new type of Cake Walk with the whole family taking turns hiding the cake with the winner being allowed to lick the frosting spoon! I might have said that I have licked the bowl a time or two, where the batter had been, but my wife would just scream “SALMONELLA” and  do an evil dance on the kitchen floor. Now I understand my Father much better!

I hope that this blog has benefited your knowledge of Carrot Cake – (semi) Vegan Style, but don’t take my word for it.

It gets more spongy with time, but then we all do that anyway.

Good Eatings!

Posted in Denmark, Family, Life

Christmas Fun and Games. Danish Style

The second day of Christmas, 26 December is a Holiday for most, but not all.

This day, might be the day of Christmas get togethers, Family or friends, or combinations of them all?

In my wife’s family, this day has turned into a family get together, with fun and games of course.

Pakkespil – loosely translated as “Gift/package game”

Everyone brings at least 2 packages, wrapped. The value is usually minimal, but the wrapping paper makes it look like a million, you know?

All of the “pakker” are put at the middle of the table. 1-2 cups, like those used in Yahtzee, are passed from person to person, with each containing one die. In the beginning, anyone/everyone who rolls a 6 is allowed to take a package. This continues until all of the packages are taken. Now a timer is set, with only one person knowing how long, or short that interval is.

The rules change. Every time someone rolls a 6, a package is allowed to be stolen from one of the other guests, but when someone rolls a 1, one package is passed to the person at your left.

When the time is up, the packages in front of you are yours, and the opening begins.

I’ve tried to take pictures along the way, from beginning to end, to show how many “possible” wins, I might have had!

Let the Games Begin!

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Nope. Not an incorrect photo. Just been cheated out of my package!

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Cheated again!

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Luck didn’t seem to be with me, but there was still love?

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My daughter’s packages looked good to me!

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Someone had just rolled a 6. Not good for me!

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The person to my left, my daughter was doing OK.

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We tried not to end up with the packages with red colored wrapping paper, as those were our own gifts. I ended up with these two, and look what was inside:

img_6543

candy, chocolate and a glass Christmas ornament.

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My daughter’s winnings.

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More paper for the recycling container!

That ended Fun and Games on 26 December 2016.

Want to play along next year? The party might just be held at my place….

We’ll see in 2017!