The feathers
that defined my sleep
were heavy when my dreams
were bound in chains and weighted stones
waiting for your response

My restless nights, giving way to
aching days, not able to grasp the life
that you once gave me, when you
graced my life, and yet,

I wrote and wrote, until my hands were raw
with the pens and pencils, littering the floors
of my empty halls and lonely night rooms

My letters wanted to do you justice, but I failed
and cast them against my mind walls, and watched
as they sailed out of my wind whipped window curtains
flying away in the breeze, the one that followed you
as you left my life, the hollowness and shallowness
that expands through each day, since you
left me,

“Write me again” your words echoed in my mind halls
taunting and teasing me to come and join you
but searching, I did, and more until
I gave up, panting and wasted upon the trails
and the traces of your last footsteps
your last imprints of what followed me
in my dreams and more,

I threw the blankets and hid my head in the pillow
which wanted to strangle me, and take my life
for without you dearest, my days became nights
became days again, without rest, or want of eating
for nothing seemed worthwhile anymore,
nothing could compare to your words, and your life
and the essence that you showered over me, as if
a desert had entrenched itself in my heart, squeezing the water of life out of my reach, until your waters
your waters nourished me home again,

Awaken! I heard you shout, as if my life depended on it,
and thrashing about, and fighting off the sleep demons,
who tore and ripped at my soul, my eternal soul, waiting
to hear your voice once again,

As I lay there, bathed in sweat with the last vestiges of my dreams
escaping into mists, disappearing into the darkened halls of my subconscious, waiting for the light to seep into my mind once again,

You lay there, as if your dreams were made of fabric, silken and waving in the sweet nighttime breezes of your dreamworld,

I gathered my wits about me, and reached out to touch your skin
but that too was an evil dream, with you, vanishing in the morning light,

My resolve notwithstanding was not shaken as I again began to write to you, gathering the pencils and pens that had been strewn about on my floor, reminding me of something
close, but moving far away, quickly as if it never existed,

Dearest. As I take my pen in hand, I wish you the best of all things. If those things could include me, and my shortcomings, then I would give you the earth and the sky to gain your favors again,

My dreams will remain my own, as they only reflect the emptiness
that encompasses my life, since you went away

Since you went away…..