Posted in Humor

To All of My Friends

To all of my friends,
acquaintances, neighbors
and the odd man on the street
who attended my annual birthday bash
yesterday, last night/this morning/
still in progress,

I wish to apologize for any/and/all
inappropriate/not politically correct/
totally out of place
comments/innuendos/odd remark/slap on the incorrect/correct body part/-that might have been made by the incorrect/correct/one in a million kind of a guy/your next door neighbor who attended
this local event,

Some people, but not all of them present/past present/ future present/and those who wanted to be counted as present, but were denied entry at the door by a gorilla-clad security guard,
would be wise in remembering just why it was necessary for
undue nudity/totally embarrassing nudity/partially-clad, OMG don’t remove that piece of clothing, are you mad?/ incidents which caused some of the neighbors, most likely them not present/them not in the loving arms of their “assumed” wife/those who once were proud to call themselves neighbors, but have attained a higher sense of Nirvana, after attending the party last night!
-to call for the police/your wife/wives/Homeland Security/the local Pastor of your Bible Congregation to protest vigorously that the cream cheese dip didn’t match the amount of chips present, thus causing an imbalance in the lop-sided nature of the kitchen, with the hecklers on the one side, and the Vegans on the other,

I assure you/all you/you all/ most of you who still want to recognize my face in a crowd/are totally indifferent to my words/my wife present/wives past present, and any/all future perfect wives, who don’t exist in this time-line continuum no matter how many episodes of Star Trek they/you/all of them/none of them/German subjunctive forms 1, 2 and 3
that I will be celebrating next year’s party on a new date, which may or may not have occurred after having read this apology!

In that case, thanks for your participation/past and present…..



Just an American lost in Denmark. The past few weeks being back in the good old USA. It is like Aliens have taken over my mind, changing it from what I knew to what I know. It might be the heat, or it might be the influence of hearing English 24 hours a day, but whatever the cause, it is only temporary while dealing with this time and space.

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