She Kept Asking Me, Why

“Why aren’t we together”
asked me, she did
over and over
with my answer, not

Not existing,
not in this lifetime
not knowing exactly

“Why weren’t we
a question I often
asked myself

All of the excuses
and the regrets,

All of the lies
we told ourselves

Thinking them to be
the truth,

Lies disguised as
the truth,
easier to accept
easier to admit to

Just not being
the truth

I wanted, and she
she wanted as well,

We talked about it
shouted about it
fought tooth and nail
about it,

But solving the problem
it did not,

Again, asked me
she did

“Why aren’t we

Together in thoughts
in words, in the ways that we did things
for each other,
the ways that we worried, cared and wondered
about each other,

Just not being

Her questions, answer
I couldn’t

Not until
I could answer them

to myself….