Her Headphones

She was grooving
to the music
swaying to the tunes
I wanted to join her
I wanted to sway together
with her,
her headphones
sleek and stylish
not being plugged in
made me wonder
about the tunes
playing loudly
in her head

in her head….

I wanted
to sway with her
tunes, just not being

in her head…

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To All of My Friends

To all of my friends,
acquaintances, neighbors
and the odd man on the street
who attended my annual birthday bash
yesterday, last night/this morning/
still in progress,

I wish to apologize for any/and/all
inappropriate/not politically correct/
totally out of place
comments/innuendos/odd remark/slap on the incorrect/correct body part/-that might have been made by the incorrect/correct/one in a million kind of a guy/your next door neighbor who attended
this local event,

Some people, but not all of them present/past present/ future present/and those who wanted to be counted as present, but were denied entry at the door by a gorilla-clad security guard,
would be wise in remembering just why it was necessary for
undue nudity/totally embarrassing nudity/partially-clad, OMG don’t remove that piece of clothing, are you mad?/ incidents which caused some of the neighbors, most likely them not present/them not in the loving arms of their “assumed” wife/those who once were proud to call themselves neighbors, but have attained a higher sense of Nirvana, after attending the party last night!
-to call for the police/your wife/wives/Homeland Security/the local Pastor of your Bible Congregation to protest vigorously that the cream cheese dip didn’t match the amount of chips present, thus causing an imbalance in the lop-sided nature of the kitchen, with the hecklers on the one side, and the Vegans on the other,

I assure you/all you/you all/ most of you who still want to recognize my face in a crowd/are totally indifferent to my words/my wife present/wives past present, and any/all future perfect wives, who don’t exist in this time-line continuum no matter how many episodes of Star Trek they/you/all of them/none of them/German subjunctive forms 1, 2 and 3
that I will be celebrating next year’s party on a new date, which may or may not have occurred after having read this apology!

In that case, thanks for your participation/past and present…..

Ending it All

25 hours
each day having
every minute,
every second
spent with you,

24 hours
never enough
7 days
hardly a moment
a breath
exhaled,
the time
of one electron
orbiting,
one sun burning
hydrogen to helium
one beat of my heart
one flap of your butterfly
wing,
one tear falling,
one life not
never being enough
one life not
existing knowing what
how, why
you feel, think, are
one life to share
thinking, believing, living
the thought of continuing
the will to live
the time being mine,
on this planet
this rock, this blue marble, this idea
this dream, dreamed
by others

Are you only
my dream?
did I do so,
dream of you?

Thinking of
ending it all
the search, the longing, the wait
the ability to find
to convince, to make you smile
to love
to love

Thinking of
ending it all
thinking of
you being, a beginning

a new start
a new way of thinking
a new way of loving

Did I,
only dream
of
you….

Chasing Death

Peek a boo!
playing hide and seek
with death

No, not it’s younger brother
or, aged mother
but death, itself

I’ve wondered about it
my whole long life
when will we meet
just it and I
on a darkened street
in the middle of my vacation
on a lonely road
my eyes tired
and weary, asking
tempting

Have I brushed with it?
some might ask
just once or twice,
but the thought of surviving
my feat of death
suffering through the agony
waiting for death to take its
rightful place,
was not for me
not yet, it seemed

We have danced together
the dance of death
it has been close enough to touch,
but it chose to touch others
near me, instead

Why did it not consult
with me,
ask me why it needed to take
my mother, my father
now my younger sister?
why must I remain,
asking such questions
receiving no answers?

Lurking it does
around the next corner
along the way to where I am going
just behind me, getting nearer

Fickle it is
taking someone next to me
without my knowledge
someone I knew,
someone, I wouldn’t know
anymore,

Not long to go
it might say to me
how long is long?
A long life, a life span
getting longer all the time
will I live to be 100?
will I get the chance to choose?

Death started laughing
without stop
who will choose?
who will die?
who will live, a bit longer
anyway?

We had a good laugh together
death and I
that was funny, I admit
thinking that it was I that was in
control,
thinking that it was I that chose
when my time was up,
over and out, finished, having bought the farm,
or kicked the bucket

So many ways to say it
so many ways to experience it

Is it painful
dying that is?
who do I ask
who can tell me
is it only angelic
listening to the trumpets of heaven
blowing in my ears
listening to the sound of my breathing
growing weaker all the time,
is it just, a walk in the park
a stroll on the moon,
or, soft as a baby’s bottom

will I smile inside
will I welcome the change of pace
the change of venue
the end of all ends?

Silly of me, isn’t it
questioning death like this?
most would choose to avoid
the most important subject
in their lives
most would choose to ignore
to scoff, to drive the fastest cars,
and love the most beautiful women,
dare to walk tightrope over the Grand Canyon
or, jump out of an airplane, waiting
waiting to pull the cord
so close to the ground
to touch it

I guess, it’s better to take a stroll
no need to hurry here
no need to chase the inevitable, or
go looking for it,

It most likely will find me in the end
something as certain as taxes

and death…..

Hard to Get

She didn’t know
the meaning
of playing
hard to get,

Teasing, cajoling
displaying her
come to me finger
coaxing

Tempting,

It takes
will-power
strength of conviction
absolute control
of feeling and emotions
stone-faced resilience

All fine qualities
none of which

I happened

to possess

A Little Hurt

I had a little hurt, you see
a slight inclination
a momentary feeling
under my skin,
a slight discomfort
nothing to raise the roof
over,

Others around me
saw it differently
“you are in pain”
your pain is our pain
we feel for you
we pray for you
we will take on life
for you,

The doctors
prodded and poked
looked down my throat
and banged on my knees,
took and looked at my blood
told me it was age,
christened too early
arrived too late,

A minor prickling
noticing a spider web
dragging across my skin
the slightest touch
the most minor of all feelings
not normally felt,
just a feeling,

“Too many women”
they said in unison
too much drink,
too many smokes
or, not enough
will kill you as well,

A slight twinge
a pause in my attention
span,
a slight cough
a sneeze
a lack of attention

Your hurt
is the hurt of the world
the anguish of war
pain and suffering
disease, malady, affliction
drink this, with two tablets
swallow, just a small injection
an oral preparation,
up the one end, down the other

Perhaps it was an old bee sting
or ant bite
some moth who flapped
in my ear,
the sensation of burning nettles
a dog, barking
a child screaming for more ice cream
two lovers, fighting

“Be comforted” they said
you are not alone in your pain
to live in this world
is to have pain,
to suffer, to anguish, to cry
weeping becomes you
all those around you
suffer, weeping as well
welcome to the solidarity
of the grieving world,

I awoke today
feeling a small hurt
somewhere in my memory
told me, reminded me
that I was indeed, alive
able to feel, able to love, able to hurt

all things, part of living
of life

Don’t worry
It was just a little hurt
passing quickly
fading into my memory
awaking again

when I need to remember
what hurting
is….

Your Dog

Your dog
showed up today
on my doorstep
wagging and sniffling
begging and whining,
I’d like you
to fetch your dog
before things
get unpleasant
It has happened before
you know
when you’ve tried
to win my affections
again,
It won’t work
It just won’t,
Darn it!
Now he’s gone
inside,
Now, you’ll have
to come in as well,
Stop your wagging
and sniffing,
your begging and whining,
it’ll just be for one night
so don’t get ideas,
and by the way,
let the dog out
before we turn in
for the night….