If Only, I

If only
I concerned myself
with rainy days, and warm nights

Not fearing the cold, the windswept
lashing out at the world, for being
what it is, and what it isn’t
Wanting to achieve, to attain,
to live my life, my love, my dreams
not fearing the unknown,
or, the uncertainty within,
the pain of separation, the grief of loss
of wanting, needing, striving
of love’s embers gone cold, swept away
into the bin, out of the door, gone to sight

If only, I
concerned myself with flowers of spring
fading into summer warm, into autumn’s colors
to the beauty of winter,
the cycle of life, unending
not changing, even though we,
are growing older and wiser,

Knowing how the finality
the end draws closer, even though
we tend to ignore it, to scorn its existence
to run as fast as we can, to laugh
in the face of death, to proclaim ourselves
immortal,
to cry at our misfortunes,
living at the wrong time,
being with the wrong one,
a life wasted,
not to come again,

If only
If only, I
If only, I concerned myself
with questions much easier
to answer, not requiring
an answer

Cold days and warm nights
positive thoughts
some good times, now and then
just enough to get by on
not wanting too much
nor expecting the world

to do my bidding…..

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