What I Really Wanted to Say

The words, tasting in my mouth
ready to be eaten
and yet,

What I really wanted to say
eluded me, when you asked
what was on my mind, when my eyes
sparkled, and disclosed
what I really needed to tell you,

What stopped me from saying
what I have longed to do
to lose control and throw myself
unmerciful, into the arms of someone
telling, nay shouting the feeling
welling up inside me,

trying to get out

What I really wanted to tell you,
eluded the moment
the sensibility that overcame me
the tiredness of living, at that moment
that most fateful moment,
might never come again?

What I really wanted to say
was what I hoped
you really wanted to hear
but doubt went hand in hand
with my excitement
bursting forth, then subduing my tongue
stopping it from issuing

my ultimatum

My declaration of how
I felt, when I stopped myself
from stopping to tell you how much
how much, I…

What I really wanted to say
played hide and seek with my better
judgement, delaying and confusing
so I would reconsider,
so I would hesitate to tell you
on that most cherished moment
waited and hoped for, by yours truly

yours forever

What I really wanted to say….