The Tallest Ladder, I Could Find

Today, I tried to see the city of Copenhagen. Tried anyway.

Once upon a time in National Geographic there was a Norwegian joke about Denmark. “Stand on a box, and you can see Norway!”.

I took that story to heart today, and looked for the tallest ladder, I could find. My neighbor just shook his head and muttered, “Another Crazy American to deal with”.

I went to the local building store, but unless I wanted to invest in scaffolding to a whole lot of money, then they just told me to buy 2 ladders of equal length, tie them to my legs like stilts, and hop up, as far as I could! I would’ve done so, but they just broke out laughing and muttered, “And they say Trump is different!”, which made me take my business elsewhere.

If there really, truly is an invasion of Canadian Women to Denmark, then I want to be able to warn my neighbors of this impending danger. I thought they would have backed me up in this endeavor, but I was wrong. So wrong….

I might try to set up a blockade of the local Airport which would send a message to the rest of the Country, “Beware! Danger! Hold onto your varicose veins!

I just feel that the Airport could have backed me up bit by setting an example when/if they come to this part of the Country?

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I have a feeling, though, it will be an uphill battle……..

Copenhagen Calling – Don’t Answer that Phone!

In  about a week from now a new invasion will be hitting Denmark! Yes, Canadians are swooping in over the gentle Danish Skies, with their French Murmurings and Foreign Expectations!

What should we do? Hide the kids, or barricade the doors? Sic the dog(s) on them, or deny them entry to the rest of the Country?

What if we restricted them to Copenhagen? That would teach them to come over here and steal our/their women/men!

I have personally been in contact with a Canadian in 2016. Right here in my own city. Right here on my very street, yes even inside my very own home! I survived to tell that tale, and to warn others from suffering the same fate!

Here are the unmistakable photos that ARE Copenhagen that I have had on this website over the past 2 years. This is what the tourists come to see, and this is where they should be spending their time!

My wife agrees wholeheartedly with that statement, and would like to wish any and all Canadians, especially the women, good luck in their sightseeing endeavors in Copenhagen!

Remember that even though they sound like us/them and look like us/them, there still is an element of foreign intrigue involved with women from other Countries!

Gotta go. The wife suspects that I’m not thinking about her again……..

A Day in Northern Jutland – The Top of Denmark!

Where are we going today, Papa Smurf? Why to Skagen, the top of Denmark!

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Source: Google Maps

I  once told my niece, who was visiting Denmark from USA. Here in Skagen, is where Denmark runs out in the sand! My sister in-law looked rather strangely at me, as if I were insulting her Country, but that couldn’t be farther from the real truth….maybe.

North of the rather largish city of Frederikshavn the road grows more narrow, and the country as well. It still isn’t possible to look from one side of the country to the other, but just wait until we reach the tip called Grenen.

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Source: Google Maps

The tip is made of sand and shifts from time to time. Maps don’t always follow these changes, so they sometimes put the tip more to the north, or to the East.

Here is the Satellite shot from Google Maps

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Source: Google Maps

The starting point is the large parking lot shown near the other names under the center of the photo.

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If you’d rather visit the tip via tractor, then the Sandorm (Sand Snake/worm) can be paid for at this location. One-way, or round trip is up to you and your legs.

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I chose the route along the coast, arriving at the tip of Denmark where the two seas meet.

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Looking to the South

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Looking to the North

The Skagerrak  to the West and the Kattegat to the East meet at this tip. If you’ve never experienced two seas meeting before, then this is the trip that you need to take!

Source: Wikipedia

Here is a map showing the two seas, and one of them in French, for good measure.

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At Grenen. I would’ve taken a better photo, but it seems that it was Canadian visitation day at Skagen?

There is usually room for everyone in Denmark!

You might also see some of the large ships in the background. They need to sail quite a distance around the tip in order to avoid the sandy waters!

There are also German WWII bunkers to see along the coast.

Here is one showing Danish Humor:

“Zimmer Frei” is the usual term to encourage visiting Germans to let a room while on vacation in Denmark. Denmark was under German occupation during the most of WWII, so just laugh and enjoy this time of peace!

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In the end, I decided to show the visiting Canadian a bit of Danish Hospitality, and accompanied her back towards the parking lot.

It was the least I could do to help the Tourist Industry along the way…..

 

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Next Blog: Rubjerg Knud Lighthouse

Fantasy Fruit Ramblings – Squeezing my Kiwis

If only….

How many times have I said that about food? Well, if I had enough time for doing so, then I’d put the keyboard aside and squeeze my Kiwis. No, you have not taken the wrong turn and have ended up on some Porno Site, but the Art is Squeezing Kiwis also extends to the Fantasy part of this blog.

How much iron is in one Kiwi? Enough to build a battleship? Well, not if it is one of those American jobbies, but a smaller Danish variety, perhaps…

Seriously. My fruit is one of my pride and joys. What should accompany my lunch box today? Kiwis anyone? A firm Kiwi is destined to languish around on the fruit dish yet another day, waiting for the “God of Fruit Softening” to come by and do what it does best! Granted, I might forget about my Kiwis and the God/Goddess might just do too good of a job, sending them to Kiwi heaven.

Kiwis in the compost bin? Nope. That citric acid will kill all of my nameless Compost Worms, and make me sad…I’ve told my wife time and again, No Citrus peelings in the Composter!

Do you have any ripe fruit at home?

What are you waiting for? A visit from Mr Mold?

I’ve got to go now, but if you have any Kiwis at home, I’d advise you to give them a good squeeze, and tell them that you know that they are still wanted and needed.

Everybody likes and deserves messages like that!…

The Ghosts that Haunt Me

I would like to believe in ghosts. Really!

OK. I wouldn’t want to lie to you, but sometimes I feel that there are supernatural forces at work here in Northern Denmark.

There are still a number of empty fields here in the outskirts of Aalborg, Denmark’s 4th largest city. There was a battle fought here in 1534 by a fellow named Skipper Clement. He was a troublemaker of sorts and encouraged the farmers and peasants of the time to rebel against the enemies of the Danish King. How do y0u do that? Why by burning the farms and residences of the richer landowners both regular and those owned by the church. He was finally caught and has his head chopped off, but then that’s what the price is for rebelling and causing mayhem!

No matter. As he was doing his deeds around  these parts, the Historical Museum goes about with a largish tractor and digs around for traces of Danish History. A museum official told one of the neighbors that Good Old Skipper might have been rebelling in  one of the nearby fields, and they might do more investigations later on.

Those marks in the ground are now covered by weeds, and all have forgotten that silly talk about what might be found, but….

What if it was the ghost of Skipper Clement that caused my clothes dryer to stop working? It worked fine. I moved it to the floor, then placed it back on its platform. Dead! The electrician couldn’t find anything wrong with it which means that we’ve become more Eco-friendly, by drying our wash outside over the past 2 years.

The kids are troublesome as well. OK, some might say that is how teenagers are, but….

The wife is also a bit pesky from time to time. Some might say that almost 30 years of marriage might have something to do with that, but….

The neighbors also speak to each other in strange tongues! OK. They speak Danish, and that might be explained by us living in Denmark, but….

My own bones seem to be more creaky with time, as well as the feeling that I am getting less-young than I used to be. Age, you might say?, but…..

The signs are unmistakable. There are spirits at work here, perhaps there is one sitting next to me as I type?

Not being a member of the Danish Church might just be in my favor right now, and by sporting whiskers on my face, I am rebelling against my wife, but….

I might just be the victim of blogging on Friday? Usually the worst day of the week for me to do so, but……

What If, the Unthinkable Happened?

My PC crashes taking my Windows 10 with it. That might be good?

My Cellphone will only show French, forcing me to learn that language.

The sun decided to shine, when I had a day off.

The house didn’t need fixing, and the car ran to perfection.

My children thanked me for being the Father that I try to be.

My bank called and told me that the money lasted more than the 15th of the month.

My desk at home was orderly, and everything I needed, was right at hand.

My wife told me how lucky she was to be married to me.

……………….

WAKE UP!

The wife is yelling in the background. I guess, the alarm clock didn’t go off? Now I’ll be late for work!

What a bummer! Especially after the nice dream, I was having…

Now what was that about?

 

Fantasy Chicken Stew with Pomegranate Flourishes

Today’s soup doesn’t really exist, so unless your imagination is very colorful, then you might be disappointed along the way?

Stew can be many things. Sometimes, I don’t even use meat which causes most people to make the sign of the cross and whisper “Vegan” to one another. I’ve tried to tell them over the years that by using lentils and Bulgar, or another grain like rice, then I can make a complete protein as good as one with meat!

But that kind of talk just falls on deaf ears.

Tonight’s stew is a combination of fresh vegetables, and those that have been languishing away in my refrigerator. The cabbage can almost speak, and the celery is getting a bit spongy in its appeal!  Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t been visited by Mr Mold as yet, but it would be a shame not to use, what I’ve already used money on!

I’m starting with some chicken, which I’ll be frying a bit in some oil in a deep pot on the stove. I really should turn on the fan, otherwise the lights will drown in condensation, and the chicken splatter will be everywhere, but it is very noisy, and my wife might not be able to complete the next level of Pet Rescue on Facebook with too much spectacle in the background?

While the chicken is frying, I’ll be adding onions, carrots and celery to the mix., then after a few minutes of cooking, covering the whole she bang with water.Then I have some parsnips, and beets with the potatoes coming in last, but not least. Oops, I’ve forgotten the salt. Some have said that it either has too little or too much salt, but I’ll let you be the judge of that.

Here is a spoon. I’ll take some of the sauce, Watch out! It is hot. Wait and I’ll blow on it a bit. It’s kind of like pizza, it looks good enough to attack when still in the box, but then you’ll be telling yourself the next day, it was worth burning your tongue and roof of mouth by not waiting a few minutes more! There now. That’s better. Enough salt?

I can see by the nodding going on that I have enough, or just enough salt this time around.

I forgot to tell  you that I have indeed added the lentils and the Bulgar, but most of you have guessed that by now anyway.

I’ve decided to take the chicken out of the stew and let it cool. I could have left it in, but then the others would be fighting over who was getting what, thereby ruining the meal fit for Danish Kings/Queens that was set before them. I’ll de-bone the chicken, then add the meat to the stew in a few more minutes.

Oh, I’ve also added red bell peppers, and some chicken bouillon cubes, just because and no  other reason than  that!

While the soup/stew is finishing up, I’ll be peeling that pomegranate, that has been residing on my kitchen counter since New Year. I’ve thought about it before, but have always done something else than peel and eat it. That will be known as pomegranate flourishes, as a side dish for my almost done chicken soup!

My dog has been looking hopefully at me while I type this blog. “Anything for me?” he seems to ask, but he knows that fantasy chicken bones can still get caught in his throat, and make our lives miserable!

What about the recipe? you might be asking. Well, this one is only in my thoughts, and if you know anything about me, then you know that it’s better not too dwell too deep down there in the inky depths!

With the soup cooling in the kitchen, and the dog asleep on the floor, my job is done for the day. I hope you find to be as delicious as it looks in my mind, but don’t expect any pictures as yet!

Some things are better left to the imagination…………………

PS One of my fantasy potatoes fell on the floor, and the dog ran away with it. I hope, I can get it back before he tries to eat it….