Have You Looked Behind You, Lately?

She was troublesome at best. A wildcat at worst. My girl. My girl.

I’d like to trade her in for a new model. Not everyday, but when the bank account gets low and she says that she deserved those things, she purchased, then I start looking in the want ads for a younger model, not too much mileage, only driven by a near-sighted lover, who often missed the parking spot!

I won’t be picky, if she ends up being a bit lopsided, as female figures go. No one is perfect, I’d tell her, so a bit too  much on the one side, or too less on the other makes no difference to me, she’d apologize and try to make me believe that it was only on Wednesdays that she had gained weight, but on months with “R” in them, she was totally different!

“Have you looked behind you lately?” she’d ask me once in a while. I tried to look in the mirror, if there was a sign telling me that I was lacking something in that department, or if she had pondered my back side a bit too long and seriously.

“If you are thinking of losing me, then I will understand”, she said. “People have tried to lose me their whole lives, but I just keep turning up again like a bad penny!” I told her that it was not the loss of her that troubled me, but the finding out that we were not made for each other, in the way that others were.

She couldn’t understand that two people, unlike in their ways, never seeming to have the same habits, being the one an A-person and the other a B-person were not made for each other? “It doesn’t make sense, that it doesn’t make sense to you, like it makes sense to me, which didn’t make sense to me as well”, which I told her, but she was a bit confused by my being confused at her confusion, as well.

“We are a couple”, she said making me believe it in the pure definition of the word. “A couple, two of a kind, not one and definitely not 3, being a pair together! Take away the one and we are not a couple anymore”, which is the logic that we shared on a daily basis, making me think illogically as well.

On second, or perhaps third thought, I wouldn’t trade her in anyway. You never get as much on a trade in as you expected, and there is no reason that the newer model doesn’t lose its value as soon as it’s left the lot! She means a lot to me, and probably knows it, otherwise she would have dumped me, long before I considered dumping her!

“You see”, she said. “The mere fact that we both have considered dumping each other, shows how much we are made for each other! Two, A pair, A couple, etc.etc.”

I see now, why I love her so much. She confuses me, and that makes me think that love means confusion, which means her, which means that I do love her.

I think……


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