Posted in Cooking, Humor

Sometimes, Lentils are not enough…

I never thought I’d be telling anyone, that Lentils were not enough.

Oh, I must say that I’ve reveled in Chickpeas, especially when they are popping while swimming in their nighttime water, but Garbanzos might just disagree with that?

I went the way of Soybeans, which was the farthest journey I took inside of Bean Lore. I boiled them and tried my hand at Tofu, Edamame wanted me to call it, but I resisted and chose frozen Soybeans instead! Others around me wouldn’t understand technical terms, and I was afraid of losing more converts, if I didn’t take heed of their ignorance, as it were.

My cupboards bulged with Beans, Legumes and other dried kernels of protein. I was tempted by the Vegan Side, but was beaten back once again by my meat-loving family and threats of bean banishment, if I didn’t conform to the others’ Non Vegan Ways. I started to plan my own meals, while still preparing the mainstream, hamburgers and hot dogs, and the like. Hypocrite some might call me, but it was the way to the means of Bean Independence, sly though it might have seemed to others.

My Lentil Friends felt as if I had forgotten about them. I was not stoic to their needs and wants, alas. I just heard another calling, while they still existed in my sub-conscious, waiting for their time to come again.

Chilies and Curries danced around me, like a mad protein dream, clutching at my sleeping memories and not letting me awake. I murmured their names, Lentil Chili, Lentil Curry, Lentil Soups, Lentils……

How many times have I awoken, bathed in sweat, wondering how long my Non Lentil Dreams had been soaking in anticipation of the final boil?

Have you heard them? Have you heard them boiling on the stove?

The Lentils just laughed and said, “Remember the shortness of our boil!” “Remember lest you forget!”

I’ve been here before, on the Lentil Doorstep. They’ve always taken me back before, all of those times that I’ve fallen by the Bean Wayside. Tempted by the other, flashier Pintos and Long Beans, the tiny Chias and the arrogant Amaranths. How I was tempted by their claims of Vegan Heaven, and Protein Dreams.

How weak they, my Lentil Friends, must consider me, one of their former stalwart allies. One who only professed a beauty and admiration of their otherwise nondescript forms, and has held their place in the cupboard to be one of honor and respect.

I only hope, I can once again touch the hem of their garments, and rise up to the level of Lentil Greatness, once again.

I can only hope……

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Author:

My profile might reflect who I am, what I think and why I write what I do. My profile might just reveal the inner workings of a deranged mind, a helpless soul, and a self-destructive way of living. Don't worry. I'm OK. I've just lost sight of my little sister in the evening clouds....

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