Summer, Nope Not My Style!

She’s tried for years to convince me that Summer was the best time of year! Winter = too cold; Spring = too Flowry; Autumn = too many leaves!

Summer and I have issues. I can’t seem to reconcile myself with all that laughter, smiling, barbecuing, sunning on the beach and other unpleasantness! I just wanted out!

Perhaps we could take a trip, she suggested. Someplace cool, cloudy and most un-Summer-like with dour residents, and lousy food?

It sounded too good to be true, but oddly enough the tourist sites on the Internet, and the colorful travel magazines, didn’t seem to catch onto the fact that not everyone wants to enjoy their vacation!

I felt that there was too much bias out there, and resigned myself to the root cellar, where it was cool, dark and a bit musty! “was living”, I told myself, and wondered why I didn’t think of this solution, years ago?

The steps seemed a bit uncertain as well, which I discovered on my first visit after many years of forgetfulness, that I did possess a cellar. Step number 3 gave way under my weight, thus causing me to crash to the ground, after a short interlude with the wall, and the lacking railing, finally making my peace with the concrete floor!

Lying on the floor with possible broken bones and a hurt pride, I came to think about how I chose not to tell my girlfriend of my intentions, while she, on the other hand, chose to visit her mother, not being entirely in agreement with my Summer Intentions, and telling me so in no uncertain, rather high tones, surely alarming the neighbors of a domestic violence incident, and then zooming away in my car, where unfortunately my Cellphone was as well!

Yelling, while lying on the cold, clammy concrete floor seemed like the most logical thing to do, but due to the thickness of the concrete walls, added to sound muffling qualities of the mold, made it soon apparent to me that I wasn’t going to interest the neighbors in a “have a look around, and save my skinny butt” kind of a visit, with them siding with my absent girlfriend and all, probably thinking “Good Riddance to Bad Rubbish”!

No matter. Now was the time to enjoy my Summer, at least before the pain became unbearable, making me pray to that deity that I’d forgotten the name of before now.

The outside light seemed to be failing, but knowing that the light switch was just 4 meters above me, along the wall where the steps used to be, and before I had broken any number of major bones in my body, then I knew that I wouldn’t necessarily be alone and in the dark this evening!

The rescue team, or dog-sniffing avalanche patrols didn’t seem to remember my house number, so I thought I should try to lift myself up, and observe the damage, before the night set in. The first 10 Centimeters went all right, but when I started to put weight on my left foot, a painful memory came to mind. It could have been my first love, or the time that I was hit by a car while in the 5th grade? There I was lying in the street, with all the neighbors wondering if I had changed my underwear, before the $36 Ambulance Ride would transport me to the local hospital! My parents would be worried, especially my mother and my underwear situation, and would want to know what happened and why? There are never any easy answers, when something like that happens, just like the Summer incident of today!

I started to think about how warm it was up there in the real world, as I had forgotten to plan out my current visit a bit better as regard to warmer clothing, blankets or sleeping bags! I tried to warm myself with thoughts of my love, who might just be partying down with her old boyfriends at this very minute, forgetting why we ever got together in the first place? I guess, those thoughts should be left for later on, when I really was feeling sorry for myself, and not just in the early stages of thinking of what a Boob, I actually had been!

I started to think of those tales of the ill-fated Donner Party in California, who had to resort to eating their deceased comrades when faced with starvation. Or perhaps those other unfortunates in South America, who were faced with the same grim prospects! I looked around to determine, what I could survive on, if my stay became a bit longer than my current reservations.

Old paint cans labeled: Lead Paint, and various Paint Thinners which had eaten the bottom out of their tin containers, and now lay in a resinous pile on the floor next to me. I wondered if eating them would make my life better or worse, with the choices between slow and painful death vs. quick and painful death, being rather hard to choose between! I decided to live off my breakfast, which I unfortunately didn’t eat, due to my rather untimely discussion with my then-girlfriend. At least she could have tossed a banana or two at me in furious rage, but then, she was not in the most considerate mood at the time!

As I lie in quiet contemplation, I was struck by the irony of my situation. I wanted to be alone and miserable, and sure enough, the wish fairy was listening this time. Drat her! I sometimes think that I am my own worse enemy, by not thinking like everyone else in life, but then that was one of the things that she said was interesting about me! She also must have thought, as all women do, that I just needed to be convinced by her, and molded to her way of thinking, then we would indeed become the perfect couple, that she had imagined us to be! I guess, I should have been listening to her a bit more, and not had that bone in my head, and maybe we would have been upstairs right now, making plans for our Summer Vacation along with the rest of Europe!

I decided to sleep now, or pass out with the difference not being easy to discern if someone/anyone had asked me at that point in time? I tried to make myself as comfortable as possible by putting my arm under my head and gazing up towards the small outside window near to the south-facing wall. Goodnight I said to no one, but myself, and fell into a state of troubled dreams.

After a few hours, or a few minutes later, I suddenly sat bolt upright having remembered that small window to the outside world. Funny how I had forgotten that fact before, but it had become crystal clear that it might be my way to escape my dark and moldy dungeon!

Denying myself the pleasure of my pain, I worked my way slowly up towards that window, hoping to catch a glimpse of someone out in the throes of Freedom, who just couldn’t wait to rescue me at all costs!

“Hello. Hello. Is Anyone out there?” I shouted in a weak, feeble way, trying to sound as pitiful as possible.

No answer was forthcoming, but I tried again, hoping against hope!

“Hello. I need help! I am injured!” Which seemed to be a bit more plausible then my neighbors thinking that I needed toilet paper or, a cold beer as a way to force my twisted thoughts toward them, my remaining, boring neighbors!

“Hello, down there”. A reply came after I had all but given up hope.

The voice seemed familiar, but I didn’t think that my ex-ex-girlfriend would have come all the way back from her mothers, after having had partied so much?

“Hello, do you need help?”

“Yes”. Silly Question, but then this was no time to argue, as I felt that my time for arguing was over for good.

Soon a whole Soccer team of hands was lifting me out of that dark nothingness, up towards a waiting ambulance. I didn’t want to reveal the fact that my underwear was perhaps in the same sorry state, as when that car hit me all those years before, but then beggars cannot be choosers!

My girlfriend looked concerned as I lay on the stretcher, destined to be driven away in the fading Summer Sunlight.

“I promise, or You were right” were some of the things that I babbled to her, before they drove me away to the local hospital, but in my delirium, I also remember a funny thing, but something that couldn’t be true?

My girlfriend stood on the sidelines, waving as they put me in the ambulance, trying to hide a particular object behind her back! It reminded me of a…..Ow, they just gave me a sedative to relax. I’m starting to get a bit sleepy, but…..wasn’t it……?

Wow, almost in Dreamland. Funny, how I thought I had seen the shape of a saw behind my girlfriend’s back, but that couldn’t be true, could ittttt……………?