The Summer Cruise

Every year we had a discussion. The same discussion about traveling. Where to travel this Summer?

I thought that the best cruise, we had been on, had been the Fantasy Cruise. She wouldn’t want to disagree, or agree, because that might make me right, even though I knew, I’d most likely be wrong.

“Let’s see”, she said perusing the travel folders. “What about someplace Exotic?”

Oh, you mean like the time we visited that Banana Boat? You said that those Tarantula Spiders couldn’t be THAT big, but they were, weren’t they? Just the thought of them gave me the Willies again, and I tried to hide the goose pimples on my arms.

It wasn’t me, you Silly Goose. It was your idea to visit that boat!

Was it? Was it really my idea? She always sounded so convincingly that I began to doubt, whose idea it was. I suppose it didn’t matter. We chose not to visit Central America due to the heat, or something. It had nothing to do with Spiders!

I said,  that “Norway was the most Exotic place to visit.”

“Norway with its pointy horned Vikings? Snow and ice. Deep fjords with age-old monsters. Nope. Choose again.”

I argued that Vikings were in Denmark, and not Norway.

“Vikings were found all over Scandinavia. You haven’t researched this project again, which means that you’ll have to take my word for it.”

We had some silly agreement about not using the Internet while discussing things. I said it would broaden our horizons, while she said that it was not to be trusted.

“Consider Wikipedia. They admit to the opportunity of anyone changing the data, to correct it as it were! Correct it, or Confuse it?” her arguments were ironclad.

“I don’t mind you using the Internet”, she said, “but I do wish that you’d check your sources, before you start an intelligent conversation with me?”

I was starting to think that I didn’t have solid footing in this discussion, even though it was just a Fantasy Cruise, we were planning.

I suggested that we left the destination for later, and decided on the level of the cruise instead. I’d start with a Champagne Breakfast.

“No. No good. We’ve done that before. We ended up drinking way to much Champagne, then one thing led to another with the “Do not disturb” sign being on the door all morning, afternoon, then the night as well, with you almost convincing me to rehang it on the door again the next day! Nope. Been there done that! This time it has to be different, otherwise you’ll take all of the mystery out of our relationship.”

I was about to argue that I still felt that a Champagne Breakfast would still keep me guessing with our passions afire, but I could see that I needed to come up with something else, or lose the Cruise altogether.

She suggested dancing on the upper deck, then throwing red roses into the sea in the moonlight. I consulted the moon tables, but couldn’t see how the trip would fit in with our latitude and longitude, the vacation schedule, and the amount of predicted cloud cover. “I think, you’ll be disappointed if you think that will work”, said though I knew I had just left myself open for a frontal attack, and me having just dropped my guard.

“You don’t have any Fantasy, whatsoever”, she said, and turned away from me. “I guess, I’ll just have to find someone else to dance with, and hope that I’ll get lucky afterwards.”

“Oh”, I said. “Are you looking for love, romance, or just plain sex?” An argument which I was sure that I would win this time around, but I knew I wouldn’t all the same.

She refrained from answering, and thumbed through the folders once again.

“It could be like the time that my Summer Hat blew off my head, and you dove over the railing to save it. You managed to pull a major muscle in your back, and ended up being wrapped up in cotton bandages for the rest of the cruise. Remember how you had to endure the looks of all the other eligible bachelors, eying me in my Summer Attire, without having the chance to  become adamant, and throwing up your fists in John L. Sullivan style! I could have had my pick of any of those younger, fitter young men, but I chose to wait for you anyway.”

I felt that this discussion had derailed along the way, and I didn’t fancy doing any cross-tie walking back to the nearest town.

“I suggest that you make a new suggestion.” Hoping we could agree on at least one thing.

She hesitated a bit, then pulled the brow of her Summer Hat over her face. “Hmm, hmm. hmm. she said. Let us see. China…No. Kamchatka? No.”

I was getting worried. No one ever talked about visiting the Kamchatka Peninsula. I was certain that Champagne Breakfasts were no-go on those cruises, but then I was a captive audience in her presence.

“I think, we should stay at home this year. I can see that traveling is too demanding on you, so it is better for you to concentrate on weeding the yard, and painting the garage door.” she said it as if, she was reading a book. Not a dirty book, but one that would appease me nonetheless.

I pulled her Summer Hat aside, and entered the Fantasy World beneath the brim.

“You know”, I said while the stream gurgled nosily in the background. “I have waited all year for this moment, being alone with you, away from home, together…”

The cool breezes blew her hair, revealing her face. She smiled, and I knew that regardless of how many discussions we had, there still were Champagne Breakfasts in my future.

“We could try Cern this year”, she said without hesitation. “I hear it’s lovely in the Summertime!”

“Cern…Cern….That is rather landlocked,” isn’t it?

“Yes, it is. A rather Swiss French type of vacation, but a memorable one to be sure. We could catch a ride on the Particle Accelerator, and cast Bosons to the wind!”

I could imagine me, dressed in my Higgs suit, while she would be in her best Summer French Attire, parasol and all.

“You could be Higgs, if you wanted to?”  I said, knowing that I would not be fair if I didn’t ask her opinion.

“I could, that is true, but I prefer to be who I am, dangling a bottle of Champagne on the tip of my parasol.”

“You mean,….. If, I’ve heard correctly??”

“Yes. Another Champagne Event is coming this Summer, and perhaps it will be the Big Bang Event that you are looking for???”

“Wish for it”, I said in a hopeful way.

“Wish for it……”




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