The B-Word

Well, It seems like my life won’t ever be the same since my famous Women in ohnoohno-Bikinis-ohnoohno Blog! That might just be my claim to fame, as it were.

I’ve had a running discussion with a fellow blogger who wants to know, just when I will be showering him with B-Babes, preferably the one-piece suit type.

I feel, that if I take this discussion too far, I most certainly will end up insulting someone’s intelligence…perhaps my own?

I wouldn’t profess to having inside knowledge on the ups and downs of the B-Word, but it does seem to haunt my blog site. Some matters like sleeping dogs, are best left alone, but I have chanced upon a branch of the B-word related to the French language.

You know those common words, up and down. In and out. Open and closed? Well, Closed is OK, but try Googling Open in French. Before you do so, I would suggest that you retain an open mind, send the kids to bed, and tell your old lady, if caught in the act, that it was only a computer virus named Melissa!

The French word for open is Ouvert. Try typing that word into “Google Images” and see what you get! See what I mean? Language is a troublesome thing.

Now Ouvert is not the B-word, but if you type shhh-Bikini-shhh in Google Images, then the effect will be somewhat the same, just without the openness of Ouvert.

“Is it very far, Papa Smurf?”. “No, not far my little Smurflings!”

I feel that in writing blogs, I should retain a feeling of ouverture, no matter what the subject tends to be. Ouverture is openness, but not the type that Ouvert seems to be.

I have been asked by at least 2 bloggers to continue my quest concerning the B-word.  The first one was disappointed by the lack of B-Pictures, but I’m hoping that in revealing the word, Ouvert, that he will be at least somewhat pacified?

The other blogger has shared her blatant photos of the B-word on her site, and subsequently on my site, when I pressed it. She would like to counter my B-Blog most likely in defense of womankind, and the negative connotations that things like the B-word have brought upon them!

The topic, as they say, is still open to interpretation, which means that this won’t be the last time that OOPS-Bikini-OOPS will be mentioned on this blog site.

I thank all of you for your indulgence…..



Picky Eaters

My Children are picky eaters. 2 of them are anyway. The third must have been listening, when we said something?

My 2 picky eaters want things their way. Sure, they can eat things when away from home, that they otherwise would have rejected here at home, but they must have had the wrong upbringing? I’d like to blame my wife, but then we are 2 on the subject of raising the kids, so I don’t think, I’d end up completely blameless here.

My third child is adventurous in his way of eating. Things that would be exotic for my other 2 Children, are no problem for number 3. Peanut Butter? Bring it on! Honey, No Problem. A loose carrot, or whatever that comes along, will also work.

There is never enough food for Child number 3. Varied, quantity, taste are some of the things that he relies on for us to provide. I am perhaps a bit more daring in what I choose to give him, with my Wife being more on the cautious, motherly side.

I wish that my first 2 Children would be inspired by his way of eating. Just think of it, all 3 of my loving Children, eating as if it were a contest, doing what they could to please their parents…Dream on you might say? Well, there is always hope out there.

The other thing, which one of us has failed in teaching the Children is about how not to waste food. My Daughter always leaves something on the plate, regardless of its size. “Aren’t you going to eat that last piece?” Is a common thing to ask her. “No! I can’t eat anymore!” Child number 3 would never have that problem. There is not any waste of food here, and even the plate is cleaned so much so, that it resembles something having gone through the dishwasher!

I wonder how my Children will fare, when they become adults? Will they have learned, how to encourage their Children, doing a better job then we have done? Time will surely tell.

I’m not concerned though about Child nr. 3. He has a good head on his shoulders, and will surely pass on his good traits to his progeny.

-And he inherited his good looks from me as well!



No Problem. I Was There for You

My Puppy has been very helpful today. He is most days.

He woke up and was encouraged to go outside. He went around the corner and was gone for a long while.

When he came back in again, he left a surprise for me on the floor. “You’ve just been out!” I said. You could have done your business out there!

-No Problem, he seemed to say. I was there for you

I took him for a walk before work. Play with the leash is another name for “walk”.

Bite the leash, don’t think about anything else. Bite the leash. Chase the tail.

Once inside again, he leaves a new surprise for me on the floor!

“You were just out. We were just out. You had ample time and opportunity to leave your business out there!”

-No Problem. I was there for you.

After Easter Dinner, everyone was relaxing after a large meal. There just wasn’t enough food for some of us. More! More! It doesn’t matter, how much more, falls on the floor!

Wait. It’s time to chase my tail. Round-and round-and Round-and round.

I start to clean up after the meal. While I am rinsing the plates, before they are placed in the dishwasher, someone else is licking the utensils.

“Stop doing that! You have had a lot of food!”

“No Problem. I was there for you!” My Puppy seemed to say with his eyes.

Now it’s time to chase the tail. chase the tail. chase the tail. “I’m bored”, he seems to say.

We could play, or you could feed me some more, or I can leave you a new surprise on the floor!

Chase the tail, chase the tail, chase the tail. Wait! Did someone drop something on the kitchen floor? Better have a look, then it’s chase the tail once again.

Now, we are waiting for the last walk of the night, then it is customary for a piece, or two, or three of cheese to hit the floor. Then it is play with the rope, chase the tail, or beg for attention.

Sleep Puppy Sleep. Tomorrow is a new day for you.

My Puppy rolls over and squints at me. I’ll be there for you tomorrow, too.

No Problem…….



Dog Dreams

A foot twitches.

A yawn. Head raised, then down again.

Sleep Doggy sleep.

Breathing. Up and down. Up and down.

Another twitch. A change of position.

Roll over. And over again.

Dreaming Dog Dreams isn’t easy.

Twitching and scratching. Moving and stretching.

A small sound. More stretching. Body twice as long.

Breathing. Up and down. Up and down.

Too young to dream about chasing cats.

Way too tired to move towards the food dish.

Dreaming Dog Dreams until tomorrow…..

Let the new day begin…..


Being a bit jealous

I wish, it had been me in the car with you.

I wish, I had been traveling from Canada to New York, with you

I wish….

I guess, I’m just jealous of your latest story. I wanted it to be me, writing that story about how you drove from Canada to Amityville. I both wanted to be in that story, and have written it at the same time.

I wish you had told me about it before, saying that you didn’t know how to put it into words, and felt that someone else should do so.

I wish, that it had been me, that took up the challenge, weaving the threads and fibers of your story into a coherent piece of literary art.

I wish, you had been reading it, and thought how clever, I had been.

I wish, everyone who read your story, which now was my story, would be as impressed with it as I am

I guess,

I’m just a jealous guy….


Flies a Buzzing, Fingers a Popping

Happy today?

That shouldn’t be a question, but a confirmation of fact.

Who wouldn’t be, I might ask. Those who are not happy today, are also not happy on other days. Today doesn’t make any difference to those who have chosen to be unhappy.

Unhappy on a day like today? It makes no sense to me whatsoever. I’ve got my health, my hair and a roof over my head. What else do you need to make you happy?

Spread the word, try smiling. Be yourself, if that means that everyone around you will enjoy living just like you do.

The bills still need to be paid, and the trash still needs to come out. Being happy doesn’t solve those problems, but does tend to make the rest of the day balance out the bad times.

The bad times are still there. There is no getting around them, nor hiding from them, nor crying about them. Life has its ups and downs you know, rich or poor, tall or short, young or old. Everyone has ups and downs, but you could smile anyway.

Today, tomorrow, yesterday. I found time to smile on the first and the last. What I choose to do in the future is up to me.

Use a bit of your day to be happy. Happy to be alive. Happy to know others can be happy as well.

Try smiling to others. They might think it odd, that you do so. “So out of character!”

Try being out of character today.

I’d heartily recommend it!



Where is this Blog going? The rest of the story!

Nowhere to go and all day to get there! That might just describe some of my blogs, but don’t worry, I’ve cleaned the windshield, and we are almost ready to go!

Some of you might have fallen by the wayside of my last blog, with a similar sounding title? I’d pick you up and dust you off, if it wasn’t for the others who jumped on the bandwagon as soon as you left.

I’ve been describing my life, fantasy and real, if you could tell the difference, that is, over the last 5 months or so. A lot of my followers, who somehow chose to follow me, haven’t been heard from along the way, and I’m afraid they’ve moved on to other blogs which are more current, hip or have pictures of women in bikinis. I would take the bikini way if I knew about such things, but I’d probably end up on the wrong end of my blog, if you catch my drift?

I’m afraid the flatbed truck has become too small for a trip of this magnitude. A bus might be more fitting, but things do tend to get out of hand for me, and when that happens, I usually end up putting my foot in my mouth. I won’t be naming all parts of the body, in case younger children have haphazardly wandered on to my blog site, and are beginning to ask their parents, “Mom, just what is he babbling about?”.  The parent would be at a loss of words, and would be forced to read the blog from the beginning. Some might think that was a sneaky way of getting likes on my WordPress site, but it really wasn’t my intention to attract new readers in that way.

Anyway, I left the rest of you back in Southern California, which is called Sunny by some and Smoggy by others. My tried and true blog friends might be at a loss, why I would have left that Paradise on earth, but then the Southern California Lifestyle is not for everyone, you see. 22.7 million Californians may, or may not agree with me, but I considered myself to be one of the few, and not the many.

I chose to seek my fortunes elsewhere, writing both prose and short stories for anyone who would read them. My career could have started right then and there, but Fate, with a capital F struck, stopping me in my tracks, and not the Southern Pacific ones, if you know what I mean? Just nod your heads in unison all the same, or I’d feel that you weren’t able to follow my line of thought in this blog!

It should have been the time to invest in Blog futures, or pork bellies, which ever gave the best return for my money, but alas the Internet was not so well developed at that time. I am again reminded about adding well developed Bikini Girls on my site, but then I do tend to digress now and again.

I guess, I’ll start the engine and see just what this bus can do. I hope it won’t be one of those which is wired with a bomb, or has Dirty Harry shooting out of the rear window, which is what everyone in Denmark asked me once. “How many times did you get shot at?” “How many people do you know who have been shot?” My wife experienced a wayward bullet through the wall of our mobile home, but other than that – I’m sorry, no one was killed like those gangs. and police seem to do each and every week on TV.

I’m not sure this blog will be going as far as I thought, as my blog ideas seem to be running out of gas. It is not the fault of the Energy Crisis this time, but more of a lack of direction and loss of passengers along the way.

I appreciate those of you, who have taken the journey thus far. I didn’t even get into the Fantasy Friends option, but then they have been in and around the blog anyway, visible or not.

My original questions:

  • Where are we going?
  • How many people are involved?
  • What is the size of the blog mobile?

may or may not have been answered, but then it might not matter anyhow? The question of where we are going is a relative one, as the end is really not as important as the journey, and we all know where that has led us?

To the end of the blog!


Dog + GoPro Camera

What could go wrong? I could get some nice shots. A dog’s eye view of life!

Dogs are amazingly unpredictable. Especially puppies. I thought if I fastened my GoPro camera on top of my dog’s head, then…..

Famous last words.

Puppies like to play. They also like to roll around in things that the rest of us try to avoid stepping on.

I’m not sure if my camera will ever be completely clean again. You’d be surprised how many cracks there are for unwanted liquid/solids to get into.

Stepping on something, is not so bad, but then I don’t need to smell my shoes every day.

My camera on the other hand doesn’t smell of plastic anymore.

-And I won’t be showing those pictures to anyone I know……


I’ve got a bone to pick with you

That’s what my dog told me one day. More or less. He felt that he was getting the short end of the stick, and that made him as crazy as a loon.

I said, if he really wanted to change things, he should hit the books. I always did when I was as mad as a wet hen.

Living with you is no walk in the park, he said, which is a very dog thing to say. Then things got ugly. “You dirty dog” he barked at me. Hey, I don’t like you talking to me like that, I said. I know this fight is dog eat dog, but I’m drawing the line right here.

Don’t bite the hand that feeds you, I said. That seemed to tick him off even more. “Your mother wears army boots” he snarled at me. You’ll never understand dogs until you’ve walked a mile in my shoes. Shoes? Are you telling me, that the shoe is on the other foot? He just cocked his head. You yellow-bellied polecat! Mother warned me about owners like you! If I had half a mind, I’d leave you for someone else!

I honestly felt that I stood on the moral high ground. If he wasn’t man’s best friend, I’d be dancing on his grave.

Your days are numbered, he growled at me. I’d start counting down from 5, if you catch my drift? You are dead to me already, you know. Dead from the neck up.

I felt that his use of D-idioms was getting rather repetitive. What about the G-idioms? I said. I think you got out on the wrong side of the bed. Get it off your chest, whatever you really want to say to me. Let’s get this show on the road, otherwise we’ll soon be fighting tooth and nail.

Tooth and nail, that is a real dog fight.

Let’s call it a day, I said. He didn’t reply. What is wrong, cat got your tongue?

Don’t start champing at the bit, he finally growled. You’d change your tune, if you didn’t have a chip on your shoulder.

You are the one barking up the wrong tree. I am not going to take a back seat to you. I am the owner here.

Let’s grab 40 winks, he woofed. I think we are caught in a vicious circle. You can’t hide elephants in mouseholes.

I agreed. Let’s catch some Zs. It’s far better than adding insult to injury…..



A Family Affair

Wow. A day together with my Wife’s Family. I couldn’t think of anything that could be better than that!

And they say, that I don’t understand Irony!

Today we went to a family birthday. Around 20 people were present, about ½ of whom I didn’t know.

Traditionally in Denmark, when entering a room with people, or at a gathering it is customary to shake hands with everyone present.
Dav (pronounced dau), Davs, Goddag (Good Day). Hej (Hi), are some of the most common greetings.

My wife thought we’d be late, but it only turned out to be 10 minutes or so, and the party hadn’t started, when we arrived.

The kids present made a lot of noise, and wanted attention from the adults. I’ve always been good at that, giving them a hard time, some might say, but the kids enjoyed it all the same.


It started with Coffee and Cake, but with most other birthday parties, freshly baked rolls with butter, and freshly made hot cocoa comprise the usual Birthday fare. It didn’t matter, because it all tasted nice, with the conversation (all in Danish) reaching the upper limits of noise, which was also perfectly normal for my Wife’s Family.

My son asked why the Danish Flag wasn’t raised, but before wanting to hear the reason, he promptly announced that he would take care of that issue. Flags in Denmark are not to be flying after the sun goes down (in 1½ hours from that point in time) or else it is known as “Flying the flag for the Devil”.


At 5pm it was time for pre-made open sandwiches with the following toppings: ham, roast beef, shrimp, eggs, etc.

At 6:30 the sun, according to the Internet, had almost gone down, which meant that we needed to take the flag down. I assisted my son, who told me how to fold it, not letting it touch the ground, and when folded, was not supposed to show any of the white color. He is a scout, you see, and seemed to know his stuff!

The kids having renewed energy started all over again, making noise, and smashing each other.

The adults after eating dinner, said goodbye one by one, repeating the tradition of shaking hands and remarking: Farvel (goodbye), Tak for i dag (Thank you for today).

The sun had gone down when we took our leave. The temperature had dropped below freezing, but luckily the car warmed us up in no time.

That was my day in Denmark. I leave you with one more picture from my cellphone, taken around 5:30 while the sun was slowly fading towards night.


We were actually near a town called Brønden, 130 residents, but depending on where in the house you were with your cellphone, it said different things. While resting on the couch, I was actually in Pulsen, but if I had been in the kitchen, I might have been in Dybvad!

It didn’t really matter, as we knew where we were more, or less.


Source: Google Maps

In Denmark, that is………………….