Dreaming of Albania

I’ve never done so before today. Funny isn’t it?

stats 31 march 16

Albania paid me a visit today. Who did I know in Albania? Perhaps a past love, who happened by me in my needy stage, chancing to perk me up, when I needed it most, saving me from jumping off that bridge, moments before it was over for good!

We weren’t together very long, her and I. She was just passing through and I, well I was trying to decide my own direction in life. I considered a tramp steamer to St Petersborg, but the thought of all that borsch was just too much to stomach! Then there was logging in Northern Québec, but I was afraid of running into another of my past loves, or being bitten by a Canadian Fox, or her boyfriend, as it were.

She didn’t seem to care, what I chose to do with my life. She was only in it for the sex and I felt obliged to satisfy her needs, no matter how long it took. However, I guess in the end, it took too long for her, as she announced one day that she would be moving on at the end of the week. I had until then to satisfy her, or fail miserably in trying. I consulted the local library, and asked my most experienced of friends, but to no avail. She was bound and determined to journey onward to Albania in search of the man, or men who would/could satisfy her desires.

I remember our last night together, in a flat overlooking the Danish Stock Exchange. She commented on how she would miss the sight of the tails of 4 dragons entwined together, as if being lovers locked in the deepest throes of Danish Passion!



Yes, I agreed. That was a most impressive sight, when I chanced to look up to the sight of them, from the embrace of her loving arms, in the heat of the Danish Night!

The next day she took her leave of me, thumbing her way over Knippelsbro towards points unknown.

“Think of me, the next time you chance upon Albania, at some point in your life”, she said blowing a kiss in my direction.

I would, I promised her. Indeed, I would!

That is why, I believe Albania visited my blog site today. A trace of a past love, blowing in the direction of the Kingdom of Denmark. I wonder, if she ever found what she was looking for? I only wish her well, and hope that our paths crossed again someday, perhaps in the Black Forest of Germany, or by the White Cliffs of Dover!

I reddened at the thought of her feminine form, silhouetted against the blue backdrop of the flag of Québec.

Dang, I’ve got to drive those Canadian thoughts out of my head, before I’m driven crazy with desire for Tartiflette, made with Reblochon from a little Fromagerie in Montréal…….

Where was I? Oh yeah, Albania. Who did I know in Albania? Perhaps a past love……..

The B-Word

Well, It seems like my life won’t ever be the same since my famous Women in ohnoohno-Bikinis-ohnoohno Blog! That might just be my claim to fame, as it were.

I’ve had a running discussion with a fellow blogger who wants to know, just when I will be showering him with B-Babes, preferably the one-piece suit type.

I feel, that if I take this discussion too far, I most certainly will end up insulting someone’s intelligence…perhaps my own?

I wouldn’t profess to having inside knowledge on the ups and downs of the B-Word, but it does seem to haunt my blog site. Some matters like sleeping dogs, are best left alone, but I have chanced upon a branch of the B-word related to the French language.

You know those common words, up and down. In and out. Open and closed? Well, Closed is OK, but try Googling Open in French. Before you do so, I would suggest that you retain an open mind, send the kids to bed, and tell your old lady, if caught in the act, that it was only a computer virus named Melissa!

The French word for open is Ouvert. Try typing that word into “Google Images” and see what you get! See what I mean? Language is a troublesome thing.

Now Ouvert is not the B-word, but if you type shhh-Bikini-shhh in Google Images, then the effect will be somewhat the same, just without the openness of Ouvert.

“Is it very far, Papa Smurf?”. “No, not far my little Smurflings!”

I feel that in writing blogs, I should retain a feeling of ouverture, no matter what the subject tends to be. Ouverture is openness, but not the type that Ouvert seems to be.

I have been asked by at least 2 bloggers to continue my quest concerning the B-word.  The first one was disappointed by the lack of B-Pictures, but I’m hoping that in revealing the word, Ouvert, that he will be at least somewhat pacified?

The other blogger has shared her blatant photos of the B-word on her site, and subsequently on my site, when I pressed it. She would like to counter my B-Blog most likely in defense of womankind, and the negative connotations that things like the B-word have brought upon them!

The topic, as they say, is still open to interpretation, which means that this won’t be the last time that OOPS-Bikini-OOPS will be mentioned on this blog site.

I thank all of you for your indulgence…..


Picky Eaters

My Children are picky eaters. 2 of them are anyway. The third must have been listening, when we said something?

My 2 picky eaters want things their way. Sure, they can eat things when away from home, that they otherwise would have rejected here at home, but they must have had the wrong upbringing? I’d like to blame my wife, but then we are 2 on the subject of raising the kids, so I don’t think, I’d end up completely blameless here.

My third child is adventurous in his way of eating. Things that would be exotic for my other 2 Children, are no problem for number 3. Peanut Butter? Bring it on! Honey, No Problem. A loose carrot, or whatever that comes along, will also work.

There is never enough food for Child number 3. Varied, quantity, taste are some of the things that he relies on for us to provide. I am perhaps a bit more daring in what I choose to give him, with my Wife being more on the cautious, motherly side.

I wish that my first 2 Children would be inspired by his way of eating. Just think of it, all 3 of my loving Children, eating as if it were a contest, doing what they could to please their parents…Dream on you might say? Well, there is always hope out there.

The other thing, which one of us has failed in teaching the Children is about how not to waste food. My Daughter always leaves something on the plate, regardless of its size. “Aren’t you going to eat that last piece?” Is a common thing to ask her. “No! I can’t eat anymore!” Child number 3 would never have that problem. There is not any waste of food here, and even the plate is cleaned so much so, that it resembles something having gone through the dishwasher!

I wonder how my Children will fare, when they become adults? Will they have learned, how to encourage their Children, doing a better job then we have done? Time will surely tell.

I’m not concerned though about Child nr. 3. He has a good head on his shoulders, and will surely pass on his good traits to his progeny.

-And he inherited his good looks from me as well!



No Problem. I Was There for You

My Puppy has been very helpful today. He is most days.

He woke up and was encouraged to go outside. He went around the corner and was gone for a long while.

When he came back in again, he left a surprise for me on the floor. “You’ve just been out!” I said. You could have done your business out there!

-No Problem, he seemed to say. I was there for you

I took him for a walk before work. Play with the leash is another name for “walk”.

Bite the leash, don’t think about anything else. Bite the leash. Chase the tail.

Once inside again, he leaves a new surprise for me on the floor!

“You were just out. We were just out. You had ample time and opportunity to leave your business out there!”

-No Problem. I was there for you.

After Easter Dinner, everyone was relaxing after a large meal. There just wasn’t enough food for some of us. More! More! It doesn’t matter, how much more, falls on the floor!

Wait. It’s time to chase my tail. Round-and round-and Round-and round.

I start to clean up after the meal. While I am rinsing the plates, before they are placed in the dishwasher, someone else is licking the utensils.

“Stop doing that! You have had a lot of food!”

“No Problem. I was there for you!” My Puppy seemed to say with his eyes.

Now it’s time to chase the tail. chase the tail. chase the tail. “I’m bored”, he seems to say.

We could play, or you could feed me some more, or I can leave you a new surprise on the floor!

Chase the tail, chase the tail, chase the tail. Wait! Did someone drop something on the kitchen floor? Better have a look, then it’s chase the tail once again.

Now, we are waiting for the last walk of the night, then it is customary for a piece, or two, or three of cheese to hit the floor. Then it is play with the rope, chase the tail, or beg for attention.

Sleep Puppy Sleep. Tomorrow is a new day for you.

My Puppy rolls over and squints at me. I’ll be there for you tomorrow, too.

No Problem…….


Dog Dreams

A foot twitches.

A yawn. Head raised, then down again.

Sleep Doggy sleep.

Breathing. Up and down. Up and down.

Another twitch. A change of position.

Roll over. And over again.

Dreaming Dog Dreams isn’t easy.

Twitching and scratching. Moving and stretching.

A small sound. More stretching. Body twice as long.

Breathing. Up and down. Up and down.

Too young to dream about chasing cats.

Way too tired to move towards the food dish.

Dreaming Dog Dreams until tomorrow…..

Let the new day begin…..

Being a bit jealous

I wish, it had been me in the car with you.

I wish, I had been traveling from Canada to New York, with you

I wish….

I guess, I’m just jealous of your latest story. I wanted it to be me, writing that story about how you drove from Canada to Amityville. I both wanted to be in that story, and have written it at the same time.

I wish you had told me about it before, saying that you didn’t know how to put it into words, and felt that someone else should do so.

I wish, that it had been me, that took up the challenge, weaving the threads and fibers of your story into a coherent piece of literary art.

I wish, you had been reading it, and thought how clever, I had been.

I wish, everyone who read your story, which now was my story, would be as impressed with it as I am

I guess,

I’m just a jealous guy….

Flies a Buzzing, Fingers a Popping

Happy today?

That shouldn’t be a question, but a confirmation of fact.

Who wouldn’t be, I might ask. Those who are not happy today, are also not happy on other days. Today doesn’t make any difference to those who have chosen to be unhappy.

Unhappy on a day like today? It makes no sense to me whatsoever. I’ve got my health, my hair and a roof over my head. What else do you need to make you happy?

Spread the word, try smiling. Be yourself, if that means that everyone around you will enjoy living just like you do.

The bills still need to be paid, and the trash still needs to come out. Being happy doesn’t solve those problems, but does tend to make the rest of the day balance out the bad times.

The bad times are still there. There is no getting around them, nor hiding from them, nor crying about them. Life has its ups and downs you know, rich or poor, tall or short, young or old. Everyone has ups and downs, but you could smile anyway.

Today, tomorrow, yesterday. I found time to smile on the first and the last. What I choose to do in the future is up to me.

Use a bit of your day to be happy. Happy to be alive. Happy to know others can be happy as well.

Try smiling to others. They might think it odd, that you do so. “So out of character!”

Try being out of character today.

I’d heartily recommend it!