I wouldn’t wish this on anyone, being a teenager. Anything would be better than this.
My parents are probably the worse type to be found, so say my friends, that is what it sounds like anyway. I said casually that I would like a cell phone. Nothing fancy, just the basic tool for communication, and text messages. My parents disagreed. They said that I needed the newest and smartest I-phone on the market. How would it look, for my parents being together with the other parents, not being able to brag about my most expensive telephone! I reluctantly gave in, but that was not the end of their madness.
Then there was the matter of breakfast. I insisted on getting up and making my own breakfast, eating it at the kitchen table with the rest of the family. No way, my mother replied. Proper digestion is best attained by getting breakfast in bed, lying down if possible, with the TV turned on.
When it was time for school, I felt that it was in my best interest to utilize public transportation, thus protecting the environment in the best possible way. My father disagreed. The environment will get better on its own, it is better you are driven by us, rather than be subjected to the scum of society via the public bus system!
After school I needed to do my homework, instead of hanging out at the mall with the rest of my friends. My mother interjected. Think of your future, and how lonely you’d be without friends! I said that I felt that I still could have friends, while I took care of my schoolwork! “No, I won’t allow it”, she said. “It’s more important that you learn about the value of money at the mall with your friends. Here, let me give you $50 so you can buy yourself something nice. I won’t take no for an answer!”
I considered running away from home in order to be with someone who listened to me. No matter which way I turned, my parents were there showering me with gifts, money and a guilty feeling.
The last nail in the coffin was a discussion about Coke and chips. I tried to use the “not healthy” argument, but again I was struck down in mid-sentence. Coke is a truly American Phenomena, and denying that is denying your heritage! Chips are not as unhealthy as you might think, and in buying them on a regular basis, you are directly supporting American Farmers and Factories, helping the economy in the process!
Oh I guess, I forgot church. My parents have been on the lazy side, saying that their beauty sleep after a late night on the town was more important, than a few hours spent listening to some dry sermon from a has-been preacher. I argued that the basis of the American Family was the church, and we should set an example to others, who would rather watch football on the boob-tube.
“Where have we gone wrong in life with you”, my parents replied in unison. We have tried to raise you the best way that we know how, but it just never seems to be right. We almost think you were switched at birth with the neighbor boy, who does things exactly the opposite, than how you do them!
I guess, I’ll just have to accept my destiny. My parents have tried their best, probably being raised in the same way as me. Some things just can’t be changed, no matter how much we want them to be.
Yours truly, – A typical American Teenager……..