Surviving a visit to Copenhagen, Denmark

This blog is more than 3 photos of Copenhagen, Denmark. It is a lesson in being a tourist in a foreign country. Probably the most important thing to learn while in Denmark is ordering Coffee. If you are the type who is unsure about buying coffee in a foreign country, then this is the perfect opportunity to learn how.DSC05668


Coffee on the go. In downtown Copenhagen near the Residence of the Queen. This is a way to avoid contact with the local population, until you have learned the rhythms and customs of this typically Danish city. If unsure if asking in English is accepted, then try the Danish word for Coffee,  Kaffe instead. At this point in time I would warn you not to use the incorrect term Danish. A Danish might not mean the same in Denmark, as it does in your Country, and you might just end up getting slapped silly in true Copenhagen Style, if you ask for one.


With your kaffe in hand, and hopefully not a stinging cheek, you now will be observing  a member of the Royal Life Guards (Den Kongelige Livgarde) in front of the Residence of the Queen in Copenhagen.

Do not try to do a Mr Bean imitation at this point in time, as the Danes are not as tolerant as the British in this situation.


This fellow is just doing his job, which means that the use of deadly force is as common to him, as selling kaffe, without Danish is to the kaffe vendor in the first photo.



Typical Tourists near the Residence of the Queen.

Note the style of dress. Note also the feeling of helplessness, and boredom at being a tourist. If you want to be a successful tourist in Denmark, be sure to imitate these typical tourists in every way, shape and form. Remember to warn them, if a photo is on the way in order to avoid any unpleasant incidents. Notice the fluidity of the photo. Try moving your monitor (or telephone screen) from left to right, or right to left in order to feel the movement in the photo.

The dark grey line in the middle foreground is leading you toward the the left. The 3 people balancing on the line, give the impression of order, continuity and determination.

The hapless tourist sitting all the way to the right is obviously a foreigner of the troublesome type. Note his anarchistic stare. What is he thinking? He is the focal point of this photo. Do not take your eyes off of him, lest he suddenly attacks you without a moment’s notice.

The man with the cane and the woman at his side are most assuredly Americans. They are actually rather confused, being in Copenhagen, as they thought the trip was taking them to Saint Petersburg in Russia. They have asked for directions to the nearest bus stop, and are waiting for a bus, even though there are no buses in this area.

The group of 4 tourists to the left of the confused Americans are most noticeably Danes from the Jutland Peninsula. Danes outside of Copenhagen feel uncomfortable being in Copenhagen, as they feel it is too noisy, too big, and that the residents speak in a dialect not belonging to the rest of the country.

The last 3 tourists are only props, digitally placed in the background of the photo to give the impression of movement.

I hope my tips about being a tourist in Copenhagen have been helpful to all those, who have happened upon this blog?

It is never easy, being away from home, expecting things to be at least somewhat like your home country, and not just a confusing place with signs that cannot be read, people that do not sell simple pastries , and tourist guides that were better left at home on the hard drive of your PC.

Hola, Aloha. Dang what was it they said in this country…..

Au revoir, nope…Auf Wiedersehen, uh,

På Gensyn! It still doesn’t sound right to me, but then I’m not a Dane……


5 thoughts on “Surviving a visit to Copenhagen, Denmark

  1. About those “confused” American tourists… The guy with the cane was actually pondering a way to cross the courtyard without having to tackle the uneven ground of the cobblestones. Since it was obviously impossible, I guess that counts as confusion. And yes, about this time, we were asking why we were there and not in St. Petersburg.


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