Time Zones, is it just me or what?

I feel that time zones are overrated. I think that we should abolish them, so we can better communicate with each other.

“Is she, Ms Montréal, sleeping, when I write this blog?” It becomes something of a mathematical  equation. Montréal is 5 hours behind me. Stopping. Looking back. Nope. I can’t see anything, but then that issue about the world not being flat, will be taken up in another blog.

Sometimes, I have to add hours to my thought. Australia is ahead of me. I’ve tried to stack as many boxes against the house, climb up on the roof, and look ahead toward Australia…Nope, just Sweden. I know that Denmark is flat and all, but I can’t seem to see farther than the sexy neighbor’s window, without the shades being drawn, tempting me to think about other things than Canada and Australia. Now, where was I?

My own Sister is there, right where she usually is, but just 8 hours behind me. Sometimes actually – 9, but that has to do with winter-summer time, which makes all the cows crazy and milking erratic. Some might just say that milking is not the only erratic thing here? I’m beginning to see that time zones aren’t the only problem here, but they might just be related.

I, myself, am only one hour away from Greenwich Mean Time, also called UTC +1, but not always in the Winter. We, here in Europe, are on a standardized time called CET, Central European Time, but not Great Britain, which seems to make things up as it pleases them. I would suggest that we all should think like that, but there might just be confusion if we did so.

I should buy some sort of World Map, perhaps with Canada in the middle, as everything does revolve around Canada doesn’t it? If you look at maps from Europe, then North America is not in the center of the Universe, but it should be, shouldn’t it? I don’t know, perhaps we should be on the North Pole, while it still is frozen that is, to get a new perspective on things. Only not in the Winter, as it is rather dark and cold, with not hibernating Polar Bears wandering about, looking for food. They are Omnivores you know, which means that they will eat just about anything. But I digress.

As I wander back to Canada my original question was, “Is she sleeping?” The question is really moot, as she seems to keep rather strange hours anyway. My own Sister, remember her?, minus 8 hours, also likes to burn the midnight oil, and I can see that sometimes when she writes to me at 9am CET, which would make it midnight or, perhaps 1am in California, if she is really there in the first place? Being away from the people I knew back in the States, at least those who still claim to know me, doesn’t prove to me that they really are there at all.

What if my minus 8 hour Sister was really living in Montréal, that is in Canada, if you haven’t been following along! She might just be living close by Ms Montréal, and could drive up to her modest apartment, with the small cat, and knock on her door, wondering where she is!! “Hey“, the neighbors would reply in good old French, “What are you doing, disturbing Ms Montréal like that?” My sister not knowing how to speak French, wouldn’t be able to understand the question. At least I don’t think she could. What if in the time that I was being UTC+1, she had been back there in California-Quebec learning French? I’m really kept in the dark over here. And it is dark now being UTC+1 in Denmark at 19:56 which is also known as 7:56pm! Where was I?

Oh yeah, my Sister. If she was really in Montréal, which is only UTC/GMT minus 5, then they would almost be related to each other, being in the same timezone, that is. How is that possible, you might ask? Well, my sister is related to me, and I to her, but if Ms Montréal is also close to my sister, then we might be family after all. The UTC-5 + UTC+1 family from California/Quebec!

It might be a hard thing explaining to my friends. It might be easier by saying that we are -5++1 which gives -4. Where in the world is -4?

I’ve adjusted the following picture from Wikipedia: Map of World’s Time Zones


Number 1 is where Montréal is located, that’s in Canada, if you still weren’t paying attention.

Number 2 is UTC-4 with that lovely shade of Green, or Vert, if my sister is reading this.

Number 3 is Denmark, or close to it anyway, being UTC+1.

Now you can see where my Sister is holed up, at number 1, probably learning Quebec style French, and thinking of visiting me in UTC-4.

I am not sure how that will work, as I am still in UTC+1. Perhaps I should wait until Winter Time is over, thus moving me closer to UTC-4, creating a family reunion (that is French you know, reunion) somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean off the Canadian Coast!

If, however, Ms Montréal has attained her lifelong dream of visiting Denmark, leaving the comfort and warmth of UTC-5, or UTC-4, ending up in UTC+1. Where does that leave my Sister? Back in Canada, that is the multi-colored Country to the North of the USA,  wondering just who is taking care of Ms Montréal’s cat, perhaps her parents in Trois-Rivières, I don’t know, and getting cold in the freezing dark nighttime, or daytime of Eastern Canada. I need to arrange this a bit more, before we make any rash decisions. Everyone should just stay put, where ever they are at the present time, and wait until this timezone thing clears up.

If that clearing is anything like the drought in California, the cold in Canada, or the sometimes snow in Denmark then I wouldn’t hold your breath just yet.

End of Blog from UTC/GMT+1!






2 thoughts on “Time Zones, is it just me or what?

  1. I wouldn’t dare to correct you, but I wonder… I know for a fact that there are 6 hours separating me from Pippa. And I am pretty sure there is only one time zone in Montréal. So either you or Pippa have lied about living in Denmark, either there are 2 time zones in Denmark, or there’s a Danish Alps’ time altering twist… I wonder…


  2. Have you considered what I said about Winter time? In Danish the sun stands up instead of rising. Something that is Yt is not In. These are truths that cannot be denied, even though we may not understand them at the time.


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