I’ve been asked to tell a story, and most stories begin with, “once upon a time”.
- Capitals. You didn’t capitalize the title.
Once Upon A Time. satisfied?
Once upon a time, when I was younger,
- Are you sure anyone really cares to hear this? You might as well make up a story. It’ll surely sell more hotcakes than, “when you were younger!”
Once upon a time there lived a dragon. He wasn’t very good at being a dragon, never having gone to Dragon School. His parents said, it was a waste of time. Everything he needed to know, they would teach him. His friends made fun of him, not being able to make fire, or fly, or scare little children.
- If this is going to be a Children’s story, you shouldn’t be scaring little Children. The first part was OK. He had parents, but they were over-protective, and his friends bullied him. Those are the makings of a good story.
Once upon a time there lived a dragon. He wasn’t very good at being a dragon, never having gone to Dragon School. His parents said it was a waste of time. Everything he needed to know, they would teach him. His friends made fun of him, not being able to make fire, or fly. This made him so sad that he decided to run away from home. He was determined to be like everyone else, but didn’t know where to start. He sneaked out at night, while his parents were having a furious game of ping-pong.
- a furious game of ping-pong? Couldn’t you be more lyrical than that? They might have been in the throes of a rasher of bacon, which by the way sounds more interesting than furious and ping-pong!
while his parents were enjoying a moment of inattentiveness. He walked out into the night and disappeared like a wisp of smoke.
After having traveled down the winding road, he came to a sign, at a fork in the road. To the left was “uncertainty”, while to the right was “uncommon thought”. He was confused.
- I would be confused too, if I had those choices. The Children, you had as a target audience, have suddenly grown up, and are attending Philosophy Classes at the University. I don’t mind a Quantum Leap once in a while, but just where are we going with this story?
After having traveled for a while he stopped, and had a sandwich. He loved pickle and onion sandwiches, just about more than anything else in the world. He sat down and rested his tired feet and wondered about what to do next…..
- I don’t like the look of those ….. I think you’d better put this blog on the back burner, until you’ve coughed up a few more ideas. Do you want to delete this one too, due to lack of views and likes?
It’s not always easy, dealing with my alter ego. My split-personality. The voice in the back of my head. The little guy on my shoulder.
once upon a time…without capitals…there lived a dragon….
it’s also good to be rebellious once in a while…