Have you hugged your Kale today?

I was tempted, and I gave in to temptation. I was a victim of desire. I went down the wayward path.

My Kale was yellowing. I desired it when I saw it in the grocery store. I gave into my desires. It was mine.

  • “It could have been somebody’s daughter, did you ever think about that you beast?!

I admit, I didn’t. I would like to say that it has never happened before, but there was the celery root on the counter. I had also desired that. I had plans about soup, or such, but I ended up neglecting it too.

  • “Look upon him children, look at the face of an abuser!” “Oh Mom, he’s covered his head with a bag”!

I couldn’t deal with their criticism. I knew public opinion was against me, but I tried a new approach, anyway. I did use the spinach, while it still was green. And the celery root too, before it rotted!

  • “Save it for Sunday”. We know about your kind. We’ve seen it before. Life without parole isn’t even hard enough for your kind. Don’t hold your breath that the Governor will sign your release”.

I looked to my soup for Salvation. I asked God to forgive me. I started a petition, a letter writing campaign and a community bake-off. Organized Religion shunned me. There was no forgiveness.

  • Don’t think that you’ll beat the rap, we’ve got witnesses, iron clad witnesses. They’ll swear in court that you did the deed, fully aware of the consequences. You’ll fry for this one, or drown in your own soup.

That might just be my epitaph, “He drowned in his own soup, the one with the yellow Kale leaves”.

Remember to hug your Kale, and keep it cold……

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