Posted in Denmark, Family

Blogging Pause

After some consideration brought about by recent changes in my life, I’ve decided to stop blogging indefinitely.

I am not one for continuing to do something that seems to demand my constant attention, and acts as if it is controlling me, instead of me, it.

I’ve still got some ideas, and could return to it someday, but for now the best change for me is to stop and reflect on life and my family a bit more, than I have been doing these past 2 years.

It’s been a great ride though, hasn’t it?

Posted in California, Denmark, Family

Death and Its Changes

A close member of my family died suddenly within the course of last month. To say that I was not affected by this, would be to tell all of you lies, which I won’t be doing in this blog.

I was in the USA for 14 days to deal with this death together with my family. We talked, and racked our brains for any/all memories, or scraps of such to do justice to the person at hand, but the result of this event still leaves its traces upon me.

While I was in the States, I maintained a degree of silence, both due to the cost of calling to other places, but also due to the intensity of the situation. Everything went as it should, with a Memorial Service, and burial, then my return to Denmark.

Death and its changes are things that are not completed by the completion of the burial ceremony. Questions still seem to pop up, affecting both my family over there, as well as in Denmark. Why did this happen, and why did it happen so fast? Why weren’t we better prepared, and who will be the next to say goodbye?

Not everyone will be able to accept these changes, but death, as we all know, is also a part of life, not letting us decide how/when we are able to say goodbye in our own time, leaving only regrets and questions as to our own place on this planet.

My family in Denmark has also been affected by this event. A sense closeness has developed since this tragic event, changing the way we think about each other, and the consequences of something so far away, hitting us as if we were all there during the last moments of life.

I’ve also had to question things like blogging. Why is it important to continue doing so? I realize that a lot of things will fall into place with time, but for now, I’ll be taking a break from doing anymore writing, except this short explanation to any/all that follow this blog.

I really can’t explain things more than I am doing right now, because this event continues to be felt by me in my everyday life and its situations. I continue to reflect on the events of these past few weeks, and will grow with that knowledge, be it good or bad.

Thanks for listening to my explanation…..

Posted in Poetry, Prose

Here is Looking Up Your Old Address

Moved away did she
changed her name,
once or, twice
such is it with women
these days,

Phone books no longer
work,
no forwarding address
cellphone number,
unlisted,
all of the clues
all turned into dead ends
all the hints, innuendos, lies

Turned the tables on me
in the end…

Lucky thing
she was sitting
right next to me

helping me along the way
or, I never would have found her

again….

Posted in Poetry, Prose, Relationships

A Book, She Read

A book
worn and used
as if its time were in
broken, its back was,
broken, as if it resided
upon a certain page,
reflecting a certain passage,
as we once lay together,
rising up, looking back
telling me, the time was fading
our time,
placing a bookmark,
where she wrote,
what she felt,
what she knew,
the book, being nothing
like it was in its past,
lost was it,
lost in some box, on a shelf, alone
reading it, one day
while thinking of her,
why she went away,
-our time, being
not lasting, yearning
longing after, searching,
finding, expressing, relaxing
in your arms,
the past called,
return must I, alone
without, denying, regretting,
sorrowful,
marking the page
explanations and such
mere words, cannot express
cannot explain, why
why even I lack the answers

Gone was she
with nary a word,
the tears I cried
a river, a flood,
missing you, anger
regret, denial, rebirth
complacency,
longing for your touch
longing to hear your voice,

away, away
gone for a while
a half lifetime, perhaps
unfinished business
an unfinished life

while you read
these words, my words
think of me, won’t you
the smallest request
the only part of me
I never would find again,
without you….

Posted in Poetry, Prose

Sweet On Me

“Don’t you think,
I’m the sweetest thing?”

She had a way of asking me
in such a direct way

“If you were chocolate,
at least 70%
then you’d both be sweet
and good for me” – I replied

So much for her
sweet disposition…..

Posted in California, Poetry, Prose, Prose California, Sierra Nevada

Looking Out

My mind opened
the tent flap, the wind
blowing
the cloudy skies
the mountains encircled,
I might consider myself
trapped
in any other reality.

This scenario, however
which my mind has
created,
not being foreign
nor unintended,
being a reality, more real
than the life
I now live,

Looking out
a rocky landscape beckons
I lean back, considering the view,
complacent
in my thoughts….

Posted in Poetry, Prose, Prose California

Incommunicado

Hiding
away from prying eyes
not being anywhere
anyone could find me

Incommunicado
a state of being
being for the most part
lost within myself, lost to the world
as if the world cared at all,

Existing
in an other time frame,
still visible to those around me
not appearing different
living, breathing, all the normal things
just not within the realm
not where I otherwise might be,

My mind skipped a beat
while my heart went on a lark
my memories yanked and pulled
driving me to the edge, pulling me back
kicked themselves with forgetting
suppressing the urge to lash out

Incommunicado
existing in a most visible way
greeting others around me
as if I always existed in this time line
wondering why, I lived another place
wondering why, l lived another life,

If you saw me, walking down the street
looking like someone, you once knew
daring to tap me on the shoulder
spin me around, awaiting recognition
disappointment replaces

Just being somewhere else
not anywhere in particular
not wanting to expose who might be
walking down the street
living in this body
existing with these thoughts

Just being somewhere else
you see….

Posted in Poetry, Prose, Prose California

A Single Sound, Meow

The cat
looked at me
displaying no real
emotion
but possessing
the knowledge
of the ages,

A simple purr
signaling the coming
of the new age,
one in which cats
would take their rightful
place
in the hierarchy
of the animal world

Traded off instead
for the opportunity

to mock the local dogs
while sitting atop
its royal tree…..

Posted in Poetry, Prose, Prose California

A Simple Drug

A mere aspirin
to ward off
to chase away
the devils

The same ones
telling stories
how a simple drug
will change a life
to the better,

The worse happens
the headache grows in
difficulty,
a simple drug, not enough
the answer to all questions
ones that never needed asking
before
problems, troubles
mounting difficulties
excuses and guilty
thoughts,

Having cured
the evil of the first headache
not being any more simple
nor requiring theft, or destruction
loss of family, of job, of life

A simple drug – wanted
only needed
to solve-

-simple troubles
in an otherwise
uncluttered
life…